Your Own Music Montage

Rock out with...a chicken in your pants?
          Finally Friday! It’s Lee’s Daddy’s Birthday today so Happy 72nd Daddy! If you’re on Twitter, check us out and follow us. We promise to be entertaining and keep our political commentary at least humorous. We’re closing up our Music week and have spent most of it talking about the music that makes us gag. Except yesterday which was actually music that makes us all mushy and warm. So today is dedicated to kick ass music. Not the fluffy ‘I believe the children are our future’ but some blood pumping empowering music and lyrics to assert yourself by.

          Lee says: Do you ever really listen to the music on the radio? Some music is so intoxicating that it takes a long while for you to realize the words that are attached to the beats that are making you shake your ass (i.e. Lil John ‘Get low’- I must have skeet skeeted a hundred times before I understood the sweaty balls part). However, there are those songs that should really be called anthems or theme music. The following is a list that should be on everybody’s play-list (some are gender specific so watch for it):

  1. ‘U + Ur Hand’ Pink: ‘Keep your drink just give me the money.
    It’s just you and your hand tonight’. Every girl should get an I-pod on her 21st birthday with this song on it. I love the fact that she doesn’t need a man to have a good time. It’s about a girl setting boundaries and you know I love this. Oh and she’s kind of bitchy about it and you know I adore that! And of course the song encourages masturbation which pisses off the Catholics which we love, too!
  2. ‘Golden’ Jill Scott: ‘I’m strumming my own freedom,
    Playing the god in me’. I secretly consider Jill Scott my chocolate curvaceous sister. This song is wonderful since it is self effective without cause. No guy wronged her. She’s ‘Golden’ because she is. This woman can do no wrong with me. If you are really feeling bitchy listen to ‘Getting in the way’ and take off your earrings and get the Vaseline. ‘You better back down before you get smacked down, you better chill!’
  3. ‘Can’t hold us down’ Christina Aguilera: ‘Thinking all women should be seen not heard, so what do we do girls, shout louder!’ Great song that speaks to the double standard in sexuality and ways of being. Sister’s are doing it for themselves and we are every woman and yet just a girl. Because I’m a woman and deserve the respect from the chain of fools out there. I am extraordinary and beautiful dammit. If you don’t get it then fuck you very much.

         Paul says: I think that, compared to girl music, the lyrics of guy music are mutable and generally unimportant. First, 98% of men’s music is about sex. Whether going to have it, currently having it, or subsequently had it, coitus is the theme. ‘Great balls of fire’, ‘All right now’, and ‘Let’s do it again’ could be subtitles, respectively, ‘I need to fuck’, ‘Hey, we’re fucking’, and ‘You wanna fuck again?’    

          Since you can only say ‘I want to put my meat in you’ in so many different ways, the man has relegated lyrics to a distant second behind attitude. Satisfaction and Mony Mony are all about how you sing them, not what you say. The strut is actually a clef note specially developed by Mick Jagger. And every guy knows that, if you cannot sneer, don’t even try a Billy Idol song. Remember that from a sociological point of view, there are only three reasons to sing and dance: to pass on lore, to call on God, or to attract a mate. In our culture, women pass down lore. (Look at Lee’s comment above about the Pink song.) Obviously we are not talking about gospel music and I ain’t no priest, so this is all about getting (and keeping) your woman.

          As a final example, look at Prince. The guy looks like a drowned rat but his music says something different. Somewhere is the smoldering backbeat, he is communicating that his dick is as tall as he is and vibrates at 700 megahertz. Male music is attitude. So, my brothers, I say to you: Rock out with your cock out.

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