Xanax And The Holidays

THE Relationship Blog

The holidays are stressful. The holidays bring out the worst in people. These are some feelings and words that people relate to the holidays.

It is funny how words like Xanax and stress come along side of giving and love. But it all makes sense when you understand the psyche of a person. We discussed the inner child issues before. We discussed the emotional scarring that the holidays, particularly Christmas, Santa and the experiencing the family tensions can cause. But, why the tension? Is it financial? Is it the need for perfection that holidays elicit?

Ultimately, the tension in family gatherings can boil down to one thing; boundaries. Family is supposed to be precious but we take it for granted. Many people just assume a type of immunity from repercussions when they violate a family member’s boundaries. We are told ‘don’t be so sensitive’ and ‘I’m telling you the truth, what’s the problem?’.  We are reminded that we are family and that we should let offenses roll off our backs. We are reminded that being family is a bullying free pass.

This is why people stop dealing with family and invest more in friends. When we see that people that we choose to be in our lives are more respectful than those we share biology with, then we decide that family is just a source of pain. No, we are not saying that all family is bad but we do believe that choosing your family is a vital step to healing as an adult. Establishing boundaries with family members is a good way to start the healing process with your family. If they are unwilling to communicate in an effective manner then establishing more rigid boundaries are necessary.

The holidays don’t need to be painful. Maintaining healthy boundaries and surrounding yourself with individuals who respect you is key to a relaxing and enjoyable celebration.   If that doesn’t work, come on over and be with us. We’re really nice.


One comment

  • I feel blessed that my family isn’t completely insane, and I’ve never been abused, and all that jazz… but some of them are real crazy-makers. I have at least one relative who seems to have made martyrdom her career, and everyone gets sucked into her drama, but whenever anyone offers up a solution that would end one of her particular problems, she magically never talks about it anymore.


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