WTF of the Week: HCYF Lil Wayne

If his teeth fell out, you wouldn't know what end you were looking at. 

          We don’t claim to be beauties nor would we ever say that we are better than anyone else. If you have read our blog at all, you would know us to be humble souls with just the right amount of poor self esteem. However, nothing and nobody makes us feel better about ourselves than one rapper. This musical genius, who raps about treating women as lickable confections, is probably the most unfuckable human being in the world and yet the little black troll is still getting some.  

          Lil Wayne is now the proud Baby Daddy to baby number 4 as of last weekend. You may recall that baby number three was born a mere two months ago. Wait a sec. Doesn’t it take at least 10 months to gestate a normal human child? Is this further proof that this partial abortion called Lil Wayne is not human at all? Sadly, no. This dysmorphic representation of manhood has had four children with four different women. We can only assume that oodles of drugs were used to sedate these women and that once they found that the alien had impregnated them, they must have been restrained for the complete pregnancy to avoid intentional slips and falls onto wire hangers or on the morning after pill.  

          Oh yes, and then there is the lovely part where he is addicted to cough syrup because nothing makes a man sexier than facial tattoos and a penchant for cherry flavor Robitussin. Does he pay the extra dollar and get the name brands or just settle for the Walgreen’s Tussin? Lil Wayne, we understand the pressures you must be under with your fame and avoiding being covered up with sand by cats but over the counter medicine is not street or even thuggish. Quite frankly, we would expect that out of a retired school teacher and not a major gangsta rapper who, when he sings, makes millions of women contemplate celibacy.  

          So this is really an intervention for any woman out there who is looking at cashing out her uterus for a Lil Wayne baby since we know that he never wears a condom. Look at this man. Think of the progeny. He may be paying child support (good luck with that bitch!) but you will be raising this half mutated grub by yourself and ugly kids don’t fare well. Remember that paper bags are more environmentally friendly and plastic should never be used over the head. But before you take the plunge you may want to invest in our new bracelets: HCYF (How Can You Fuck) Lil Wayne to remind you to think twice.

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