WTF of the Week: Carrie ‘The Diddler’ Prejean

A model Christian: Bigoted, lying, hypocritical and masturbatory.

          You know where we stand on gay marriage. We’re for it! You know where we stand on bigots. We hate them. You can say we are bigot bigots. But, do you have any idea where we stand on masturbation? You may have guessed we are all for self-diddling. Rubbing one out or flicking the bean are as natural as putting hot fudge on ice cream. We are members of the Jocelyn Elders fan club and will admit to carpal tunnel from our own forays into the land of self pleasuring. 

          However now due to Carrie Prejeans sex tape we feel dirty. This bitch has taken something so private and beautiful and made it a soap box for the religious right. We thought those Christians thought masturbation was bad? However, according to poor maligned Prejean, she was a teenager when she made the tape for a boyfriend she loved ‘at the time’. Wow! How many things are fucked up with that? She was a teenager? Uh, Carrie, 20 is not a teenager. 20, in our country, is considered an adult. And Carrie, didn’t your Momma ever teach you that beating around the bush was sinful? Weren’t you raised with ‘good’ Christian values and repressed sexuality? 

          We also love the line ‘my boyfriend that I loved at the time’ meaning ‘heads up boys, if she falls in love with you this may be your stocking stuffer!’ Where was the mistake? Making the video, sending it to your boyfriend or not realizing that this thing could come up and bite you in the ass someday? You have some nerve talking about how you are so persecuted by the liberals for being honest and then you try and deny that you made a tape then end up chocking this all up to being a 20 year old teenager! You seemed old enough to be fucking around and please do not say you are some sort of virgin. Nobody starts out making fluffing the kitty videos. Come on, you are a supposed teenager (and can we just suggest you make up some other excuse other than being underage, maybe brain damage or extreme stupidity). We are sure that in the not so distant future there will be some night scope vision video of you on all fours coming to a web site near you. 

          Come on Carrie, you can say you were young all you want to but making a video of yourself cunt cuddling goes beyond your regular 20 year old teenage love games. Listen up, we are an old married couple and we have owned several video cameras in over 20 years together. Yes we have videotaped our sexcapades like any other healthy, kinky adults. However, since we aren’t narcissists, we watched it once, laughed our asses off and then erased it from existence. It’s not that we didn’t trust the other but to keep anything like that shows a level of self esteem or arrogance that we just don’t possess.

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