What Kids Know About Marriage


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          It is Tuesday and we are writing about the sanctity of marriage. Of course, since it is Tuesday, we also need to focus on the child/parent relationship. So, what do children know about the sanctity of marriage? Absolutely nothing. Do you know why? It is because their parents’ aren’t teaching them anything.

          Paul says: We have a friend who just adopted a baby girl from China. Our friend is unmarried with no prospects of tying the knot any time in the near future. Since she is still feeling the glow of new-babiness, I have no fear that she will be packing the baby into the car and, at a reasonable child-safe speed, drive here to kick my ass. Also, I think that she is teaching her daughter a positive and valuable lesson about marriage. She is teaching her that marriage is important, something to be taken seriously with thought and planning.

          During all of the gay marriage hoopla, we heard a lot of ‘what about the children’ rhetoric. It was all very South Park and nonsensical. What about the children? What are we teaching our kids about the sanctity of marriage?

          Let’s see…

          “It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right… Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife.” A line from the text of a prepared speech to the Heritage Foundation by Senator John Comyn (R-TX) that he deleted.

          I need to ask, what does this have to do with children? My kids are pretty smart but their knowledge of civil law is weak at best and do not even get me started on how awful their constitutional law is. But they do understand the concept of love. If that box turtle has a true and undying love, this is something that my kids understand and I do not feel any need to educate them on anything else.

          OK, let’s get away from the political talk. When we talk about the sanctity of marriage, we are focusing on the sacredness, the holiness, of the relationship. Even if you had a big-ass church wedding with 250 of your closest friends in attendance, how sacred is your relationship? Did the important part end with the ‘I do’s’ or are you teaching the kiddies that every word spoken is like an incantation that will either bless the union or curse it? Every action has a reaction.

          Here is what our kids know about the sanctity of marriage:

          Married people kiss on the lips. Little kids do not.

          Married people are a team and the family that they create is more like a Mongol horde, laying waste to all who oppose them.

          Marriage is important. Yes, we have friends and family that have divorced but not us. We have never come close. It is not something that is a possibility because we believe that marriage is important.

          Married people are happy. This is the one that most burns my butt, where is happiness in the equation?

          Lee and I are initiating our kids into the great cult of Marriage Rocks. They are going to go to the airport and pass out little wedding bouquets and dance to the Bridal March. We are still deciding whether or not to shave their heads.

          Lee says: Our kids=Marry Krishnas! Love it!

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