Want Some Ice Cream?

Wait, are you guys still talking about cheating and Ashley Madison and all that? Yes. Yes we are. This is what happens when you take away a Chit Chatty Spice’s mic. As soon as she gets it back she won’t it go. People keep asking, “Why would anyone use a site like Ashley Madison?” The reality is that we keep thinking that affairs are about sex. Sex is not the root of all evil. Ignorance is.

You only see scoops of ice cream, right?

You only see scoops of ice cream, right?

To answer the ‘why’ we need to focus on the ‘what’. What did Josh Duggar learn about sex? Simply put, sex was an activity that is restricted to the marital bed. Any attempt to engage in any other kind of sex is bad. To clarify, Josh was taught that anything other than vaginal penetration is a bad thing. Repeat that in your head a couple of times and tell me, don’t you think that would be really messed up?

You know CoupleDumb is not really fond of organized religions because they tend to do more to hurt than help folks and this is a glaring example of that!

First, we are all sexual beings. If we were not supposed to enjoy sex, we would not have a clitoris and men would not have a sensitive penis. We would lay our eggs in a cave and men would fertilize them begrudgingly during a commercial break. That would be the extent of procreation. There would be no talk of masturbation. There would be no separation of gender or even secondary sexual features. We would all be very utilitarian in dress and the extent of courtship and marriage would be a business plan.

We are peacocks! We are putting on our best plumage and shaking our asses for people to look and get excited. Our sexuality is connected to our self-esteem! When we feel good about ourselves we are sexier and sexy supersedes all things. I am not talking about Megan Fox staring at a conquest. I’m talking the strut of feeling good about yourself which sends out a metaphorical pheromone of confidence which brings all the boys and girls to the yard.

All that and we were born with an imagination. God forbid anyone actually see what you are thinking when our minds go through the curtain to our lewd and lascivious playground. We all do this and to pretend we don’t is part of the problem. To tell a man or woman that sex is supposed to be vanilla ice milk – not the good vanilla ice cream that you can see the seeds and it is really creamy but that big old bucket that grandma had in her freezer for years with ice crystals. Sure it can be sweet but definitely not as satisfying as some decadent Ben and Jerry’s Triple Caramel Chunk that will have you twitching every time you think of it. This goes against everything we are wired for. Sex is all consuming and yummy is a true part of it. Playing in bed is half the fun and if that is forbidden or strictly limited to kissing and light petting, pass the ice milk.

So what does this have to do with Ashley Madison? When you are left with ice milk, you want the real stuff. Once again, the cookie jar! Let’s face it, God did not give you a Ferrari and insist you drive it like a Pinto. Most affairs are about acknowledging we are Ferraris. Most affairs are about having our plumage noticed. Most affairs are about the Triple Caramel Chunk.

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