The Male Sexual Response

Real Relationship Advice

Being tired is not new to men. Back in the 50’s, a man was responsible for bringing home the bacon and all household concerns were the wife’s job. Today, a man is still expected to work but also contribute equally to the rearing of his children. A man is being held responsible for parenting and the men who take this on are tired. The absentee Dad of the past is no longer tolerated in most circles. Today’s Dad needs to work, succeed, coach soccer/little league, attend recitals and fix booboos all while chasing his wife around and being the sexual aggressor in the marriage. Anything less and he is a disappointment.

When it comes to sex, women are considered a conundrum dipped in an enigma and festooned with confusion. While men are what you see is what you get. Some common beliefs are that men are always ready, indiscriminate, not responsible for their ravenous sex drive and, as proven by Charlie Chaplin, fertile from their first wet dream to their last breath. The truth is that this is not all true. Sure, there are men who could be characterized as walking erections but the vast majority of men who enter into relationships can understand a deeper connection.

The Male Sexual Response:

The Excitement Phase: The phases are the same as women and in many respects the same physiological processes are in play. The Excitement Phase is all about blood flow. As a man becomes excited his blood pressure rises, heart and breath rates increase, blood flow increases to his genitals, his penis becomes erect and he may excrete pre-ejaculatory fluid (physiology is amazing- this fluid is natural lubricant!). Like women, this phase can take minutes or hours and can be accomplished with clothing on and can be elicited by a conversation, a photo or just the smell of perfume.

The Plateau Phase: This phase is the buildup prior to ejaculation.  This phase looks a lot like the excitement phase with the added increase in penis size as the man becomes fully erect. As this phase approaches the next, the scrotum is drawn into the body which is a means to propel the semen further (like cocking a gun). This phase is the actual intercourse phase.

The Orgasm Phase: This phase is characterized by the release of sexual tension and ejaculation. A man’s orgasm is characterized by contractions of the base of the penis for the expulsion of semen and spasms throughout his body.  (NOTE: Men do have ‘better’ (defined as more intense or longer) orgasms when the excitement and plateau phases are extended).

The Resolution Phase: This Resolution Phase is characterized by the loss of erection, heart and breath rates returning to baseline and a general sense of relaxation and satisfaction. The Resolution Phase varies for men. Men require a refractory period after sex before they can do it again. This period can be minutes to hours. Some men have refractory periods that last days. This period is dependent on many factors including age, health and whether the man has been drinking. Unlike a female response, multiple orgasms are just not possible for men.

There have been studies regarding extending the orgasm phase for men but in reality the orgasm is not extended as much as the plateau phase is intensified without allowing the man to ejaculate.  This process takes a lot of time and should be done only when the couple is assured no interruptions. In other words, this is vacation sex not Tuesday night after NCIS sex.

A question for men: Has your sexual response changed over the years?

Have you ever used anything to increase your stamina?


  • ConnieFoggles

    So multiple orgasams in men is a myth? I believed it.

    •  @ConnieFoggles Most definitely! Like I said, you can intensify it but men are pretty much one shot and done. The Refractory Period differs from man to man from minutes to days. Unlike a woman who can literally have dozens during a sexual experience. (Women Rule!)

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