The Heart Don’t Know Squat

                We are on vacation this week and are especially spending some quality time with our kids. In most cases this means we have three kids talking to us at the same time while telling one to put something down or quit it or sit down or eat or finally ‘it’s midnight! Go to sleep!’ Awwwwww quality time. We have been discussing love myths and we still have a couple more to share with you. Today’s myth is brought to you after watching our kids and too much kids TV.

                Lee says:  Television program for kids is insipid. (Hey, Lee, tell me how you really feel!) Well, I think that the Devil himself is writing shows and casting his demons as precocious tweens. Unfortunately, I would love to blame Beelzebub for love myths but I must place responsibility where it belongs. If you watch any romantic comedy or even sitcoms they bring up this myth on a regular basis. The best part? They say it outright and we buy it! What is it?

                Love myth: The heart wants what the heart wants.

                Now that is the widest, deepest crock of crap out there. Of all the myths, this has to be the most detrimental, irresponsible caca we know of.

                The heart is an internal organ that is comprised of muscles and valves. The heart may be the seat of love but the desires of a person are brain driven. You know that pink squishy thing in your head, the organ that keeps your memories, traumas, beliefs and dysfunction? If it were up to the heart, perhaps we wouldn’t be so messed up in love. You see, it is those memories and beliefs that are the foundation of our relationship dysfunctions. This is where we decide we don’t deserve true love. This is where we make the belief that abuse is what we deserve.

                 The heart does not choose these things. The heart holds that love and then breaks when we lose it. The heart wants healthy love because when it is broken it can hurt us physically. Cardiologists have known for quite some time that people suffer heart attacks or have cardiac issues soon after break ups or grief. Does this organ sound like its finicky? Does this sound like an organ that would choose something or someone that may hurt it? I would believe the heart would choose lovers that would be sure things or, at a minimum, it does not pick people who are abusive even in courtship.

                Dispelling all these myths makes me sound like a killjoy. I do not walk around popping balloons or smirking at brides. I am a hopeful romantic and it drives me nuts when people give crappy love advice. Apparently, any asshole can be a relationship expert (present company included) but the difference between these so-called professionals rests on if they are spouting these myths as facts. I say, don’t listen to any of them (except for us). How many of these experts can say that they have been in a healthy relationship for 20+ years along with the education and experience to be share sage advice? Not many, people. So stay tuned. Read our posts. Watch our ‘Relationship Rehab’ show on Send us questions, comments and like us on Facebook. This is what my heart wants and you know the rest.

                Paul says: And the stomach wants what it wants, which is usually butter-fried bacon in large quantities. The doctor says I can’t have that either. My liver wants alcohol. My pancreas wants me to overwork it with lots and lots of sugar. And we are not even going to talk about my penis.

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