The Award Dilemma

That cake isn't appropriate. They should wait until she is 16.

          Today is CoupleDumb’s 1st Birthday! One year ago today, we decided the world was ready to stop playing games and start being happy. One year ago today, we decided that the world was ready to engage in honest dialogue and rebuke unhealthy behaviors. One year ago today, we committed to writing this blog until every human on earth was as happy as we are. So we celebrate this day and acknowledge the incredible things we have accomplished in just a mere 365 days (minus holidays and the occasional case of the fuck-its).

          Lee says: We have mentioned before that Paul and I have a little issue with success. We tend to question the good things that come into our lives and wait for the ax to swing back and smack us on the ass. We have committed to ourselves to be healthy about our success now and one of these pledges is to acknowledge the good stuff.

          In the past year, CoupleDumb has written over 370 posts, done 10 MomTV shows, 50+ radio shows, published one book (Dysaffirmations: Because this kind of stupid takes work) and have been featured in the Miami Herald and subsequently syndicated throughout the U.S.. Lee was a finalist in the Mother of all Bloggers contest on and we are ranked in the top 10% of websites in the United States (Alexa). Since we only recently handled our success issues (and I say this tongue in cheek like an alcoholic with one day sobriety says he kicked the booze), we are unable to celebrate these accomplishments the way they deserve to be. Instead, I will announce that on January 19th 2011, we will have a coast to coast party that will rock!

          We aren’t alone in this lack of celebration. We have become a nation of minimizers. This could be due to the pendulum swing where we would celebrate mediocrity in all forms. Here, take a ribbon for participating. Back in the day you would kill for those things and now any asshole gets a prize for showing up. Thus we became analytical about success. Did I earn it? Did I actually accomplish something that others didn’t? If you find that others can do it also, the victory becomes shallow. Success then has become a solo activity that needs to be so spectacular and mind blowing that the simple win is nothing without the fireworks and fanfare. Perhaps this could also explain the advent of extreme sports. Try giving those freaks a participation ribbon.

          Then you have the jerks who celebrate anything. I actually had a woman try to compare my marriage of 21 years to her being married 3 times to what amounted to be 22 years. Her belief was that she ‘won’ because she had been married longer. I guess you can reframe anything into a win. Hey look, I went to bed before midnight! Woohoo! Hey look, I’ve gone a day without texting my ex-boyfriend! Woohoo! Hey look, my baby has eaten a whole lego and passed it without a problem! Woohoo!

          I guess what I’m trying to say is that celebration begins with acknowledging your accomplishment. However, that success needs to be meaningful. The meaning comes from your own criteria and the semantics surrounding the feat. I feel that we need to pull back in trying to make every kid feel like a winner and separate true success from supporting someone who tries. The two can not be rationalized with a simple change of color. Besides, it’s not like anyone has given us a ribbon for writing our blog. However, we are always open to receive participation awards and pity prizes.  

           Paul says: Lee speaks like an addict actively working her program. I point out to her and to all who are reading (and, most importantly, to me – not that I ever listen) that acknowledgement is subjective. I agree that the ribbons given need to have meaning but it is the recipient of the award that truly assigns the meaning.

          That being said, I now award myself the coolest writer in the universe award in the overall literary category of sexy guyhood. I’d like to thank the academy…


  • Amazing post! I totally love your site. I’m sure I’d visit here more often.

  • LOL @ Paul’s acceptance speech & seriously LMAO @ the woman who somehow rationalized that a total of 22 yrs. in three marriages equaled success. Duh…you gotta be hitched to the same wagon, lady, for you to be in the running….there are no pit stops.

    Anyhow, Happy 1st Birthday! I found you last week, so I can officially say I knew you when…;)

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