Sigh, Why Bother?

          Another Monday, we think. This summer has us blending our days so much we are missing appointments. Our 6 year old is constantly asking us, ‘what day is it?’ Our answers come slowly and only after we check our Google Calendars. It’s bad. We could understand it if we weren’t actually working. We are still spending most days writing or researching or pretending to work while playing Mafia Wars on Facebook. It must be the incredible bliss of all the togetherness we are sharing. We thought we would not tax ourselves too much and write about why we started this site in the first place. That’s right! We are talking about CoupleDumb this week!

          Lee says: We discussed the stupid things we do in relationships a long time ago and focused mostly on our Dysaffirmations. You remember Dysaffirmations don’t you? Those pesky dysfunctional things you say to yourself to keep you messed up? Well, we thought we could add a whole bunch more to the list of stupid things we do to mess up a relationship. What? You don’t think we can?

          For starters, look around you. We are living through some pretty messed up relationship time. Tiger, Jesse, Mel, Lindsay and all the other celebrities out there keeping our gossip rags running non-stop to post and print their latest fuck-ups are an indication of some sort of relational apocalypse. You wonder why anyone would hook up or even marry in these days. You have to figure if Larry ‘I am Skeletor’ King is being accused of tapping his sister-in-law, the universe has gone wonky. So tell me we aren’t doing some pretty stupid things to mess up our relationships.

          One of the stupidest things we do to mess up our relationships is get lazy. Laziness allows us to underestimate our self-sabotaging. Laziness allows us to take our partners for granted. Laziness allows us to think that status quo is good enough and that ‘good enough’ is the best we can do. Laziness is the bastard who does not believe in ‘happy ever after’ and shrugs it’s shoulders and raises its hands palms up as if to say ‘shit happens’. Laziness has us turn a blind eye, not notice the coolness and disregard the obvious signs that there is something wrong.  

          What? You don’t like this word? So what word do I use to describe someone who continually makes poor choices, suffer consequences and goes back to making poor choices? I realize everyone I mentioned is an addict and their disease involves neurochemicals and behavioral patterns that are etched in their brains which trigger a dopamine response. I know some of them are working at getting better but this does not take away from the laziness. When laziness rears its ugly head, relapse is not far behind.

          All of these celebs I mentioned earlier are lazy bastards. There little smooth brain tells them ‘changing is hard but being lazy is easy’. A shitload of consequences later has them walking the straight and narrow until laziness whispers, ‘no one will notice if you do one line/have a drink/have sex with that skank’. Laziness reminds you that you can’t handle the pressure and responsibility. So we mess it up with society patting us on the back. ‘You did your best. Let’s face it, you are only human.’ I say we put people in jail for being lazy. I say we put irresponsible people in jail. It won’t be like a real prison with shanking or shower rapes. Let’s face it, lazy people don’t take that kind of initiative. 

          Paul says: the only place where you really see some diligent movement in the lazy person is when they are supporting another lazy person to be lazy. In the addiction world, they call it enabling. Everywhere else, it is just being a good bro. These are the same friends that tell you to turn a blind eye on your spouse’s sadness or anger because ‘she’s probably on the rag’. Sometimes they just shrug and say, ‘women’ then offer you another beer.

One comment

  • Loren Fulk

    My mother gave me this advice when I married my husband and it’s turned out to be true. Just know that you have done the right thing, and even if they don’t show their appreciation now, the children will remember your hard work…someday.

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