Happy Monday everybody! This is a fantastic week and we are already excited. We’ve got so much going on. Aside from writing for our blog 6 days a week, we also have the launch of our first book, ‘Dysaffirmations: Because this kind of stupid takes work!’ The book is a collection of some of our dysaffirmations and includes a Misery Worksheet. We are also awaiting the results of the Mother of all Bloggers contest for which Lee was nominated. And we are holding a contest for subscriptions (Facebook group, Twitter, etc). The person with the most referrals gets a signed book! The winner will be announced on our first radio show on May 7th, National Mom’s Nite Out! With so much to do, who has time for sex?
Lee says: As we have mentioned a million times, we have been married for 20 years and have three kids. These two factors alone would somehow give someone the impression that sex is a nice memory but actual humping is out of the question. Well, you would be wrong. Are we as active as we were when we were newlyweds? No. The lack of privacy and time has definitely affected the frequency of our bedroom gymnastics. However, the desire, flirting and smut talk has not diminished; in fact it seems that it has become even more brazen over the years.
The media has made quite an impression on people in terms of how much sexual activity is normal in a marriage. The common joke is that people get married to stop having sex. The average sitcom uses this joke, especially with their commitment phobic character, on a weekly basis. The reality is that sex is a normal part of a marriage and, from my experience married folk do it more often than single people. Marriage or any committed relationship (regardless of legal definition) gets a bad rap.
Having sex with the same person for ever? The horror! This belief is common even amongst people in committed relationships. This is the idea that gives people the permission to be unfaithful or to suggest activities that would bring ‘new blood’ into the relationship. The cliché of ‘the grass is greener’ has no better application than in this circumstance. The suggestion that there can be someone else out there that could ring your bell better than your current partner is enticing for anyone. But the reality is very different.
Sex is a perfect combination of mind, body and spirit. In a committed loving relationship, sex gets better over time. You become comfortable, build trust and allow your mind to imagine the act being a scene straight out of Cirque du Soliel (minus the little people- I’m sorry, they turn me off). One night stands just don’t get that kind of build up. Between Paul and me, the buildup is half the fun. Many times our plans are changed due to the kids or exhaustion and we have to forego 10 minutes of passion for extra sleep.
One of us will usually start the dirty talk and follow that up with the walk by groping. The other one will join in and the innuendos begin to fly. After a while, the direct propositions are thrown out to see who gets flustered first. This is our foreplay on a normal weekday because time is precious and we like multitasking.
Paul says: If we apply a strict Clinton proposed definition of sex, then we only have it a couple of times a week. Depending on your libido, you read that sentence with either pity or envy. Happily, I have never been a fan of the ex-president’s classification that seemed to exclude some of my favorite activities. With that in mind, what we are saying is that, between foreplay and climax, we are having sex more hours of the day than we sleep. So, to all of you commitment-phobes who you use sexy time as an excuse not to tie the knot, we say ‘Neener-Neener’.