Secrets To A Happy Marriage, Number 2
THE Relationship Blog
So you want the secret to a happy marriage, heh? If you haven’t read yesterday’s post, you need to start there. If you are unwilling to do that then this stuff will be really uncomfortable. Wait a second….did you think this was going to be easy? In fact, it is really easy. It’s like gravity. Do you work hard at keeping your feet on the ground?
Here is secret number 2:
Stop looking at the outside world to validate your relationship.
In other words, if you are happy, trust that it is so. Do not look outside of your marriage for confirmation that what you are feeling is good. Do not watch TV that bashes marriage or entertain conversations that treat marriage as a prison cliché. That crap is written by idiots who married someone wrong for them and then ‘stuck it out’ until their heart turned to stone and the concept of happiness was a fairy tale they tell their children.
We allow the media to treat relationships to the same abuse many people have endured. We allow comedians to hum the death march when discussing marriage. We allow sitcoms to refer to marriage as a sexless, loveless, unfair partnership where men are emasculated and women are henpeckers of the highest order. Marriage is ‘a trap’ that women set for men and they must suffer in it. There is no happiness in marriage and if you are you are a ‘newlywed’ or even worse; they assume one of you is cheating.
They tell you that you are living a fantasy and that you haven’t dealt with crises that will test your marriage. That is their reality, not yours.
If you are happy, congratulations! Do what it takes to keep it that way. Commit to your happiness while recommitting to being integretous, honest and loving. Those are the hallmark to true happiness on your own terms.
Happy New Year!