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We have been writing about husbands and wives. In some cases they are at odds. But that is not what we are about, here at CoupleDumb. We are about love. We are promoters of happiness. We are the heralds of fun.
Paul says: By definition, a husband is a single married man and a wife is a single married woman. They are individual. They are separate. But together they are a couple. The definitions are important as are the way that we use the words. We say that we are in love. We do not talk about trading love or bartering it. We are in it, like a big pot of stock and we a bubbling and stewing into a beautiful love soup. We can make love and that is always nice. But we are never love alone. We are in love when we are a couple.
So how do you make love? I’m not talking about having sex. I’m talking about creating that love experience that can only happen together, not as a husband and a wife but as a couple. How do you work together? How do you laugh together? How do you have fun? Let’s face it, we are not always working, fighting or pouting. The key to being a happy couple is keeping the laughter to anger ratio as high as possible.
I am writing this while sitting at a car dealership getting our car fixed. I don’t like auto repair shops. For me they are like walking on to a prison cellblock, naked, with a sign on my back that says, ‘weak and supple’. I know going in that I am going to be screwed. Is that fun? No. Yet as I am writing this, I am thinking of Lee. I am thinking of draping myself across her when I get home. I am thinking of kissing her. I am feeling her presence even from miles apart. These are not just sweet nothings. They are not the ramblings of someone in love. This is me doing my part, not as a husband but as a couple in love.
Lee says: Yes, you guessed it. Paul is a love zombie.
Seriously, recently I read a post where someone referred to her relationship with her husband as nauseating. They hold hands and stuff. I like that. I don’t find those kinds of couples sickening. I find them encouraging and hopeful. The idea that a couple in love after a certain time is considered ‘gross’ and the only time they want you to kiss in front of them is at your wedding. After that, lock it down. And yet, if they see that you are together yet separate, everyone seems fine with that. You can love each other, just don’t show us that you love each other.
This is societal tradition because couples don’t show public displays of affection. It is considered sickening, rude and ‘too much’. We have stymied the natural display of connection and affection so that we don’t make each other uncomfortable. Why do we feel uncomfortable? Because of envy! We wish someone was kissing on us and holding us. It’s that simple.
When we began dating oh so long ago, I told Paul that I was affectionate and liked all that stuff. He said he did not like to be touched. This was one of those historical moments in a relationship where you make a decision that will affect you for the rest of your time together. I told Paul, ‘Well, get over it!’ Since then, we touch all the time. We are affectionate and loving and we constantly try to remind each other that we are wanted. We make love every moment that we can. Now that’s gross!