Love is…

Who took that picture of us?

June 1st is here! Aside from being the last Monday of the school year and the first day of hurricane season, we celebrate this day like no other. Why? Everybody knows its Mari’s birthday today! So Happy Birthday to our favorite jewelry maker (check out J-Bug Jewelry), sister and friend. We hope you have a great day, week and year filled with nothing but good stuff and chocolate. Just love that girl and how fortuitous that her birthday should kick off ‘Love Week’ on CoupleDumb!

Lee says: Love is patient, Love is kind, And if you believe that shit you’re out of your mind! I’m sorry. This is a serious subject and I need to get all the giggles out first so I can get in the mood.

Paul says: Love is one of the biggest topics that we can tackle. On one hand, it is the most beautiful concepts, much more than an emotion, that links us back to other people, our humanity and to God. On the other hand, the shit that people shovel in the name of love is astounding. The shear dysfunction and delusion that people tout in their defense of their own unhealthy attachments truly amazes me. It is no wonder that our divorce rate in the U.S. is nearly 50%. People are marrying for their sick beliefs about love and are separating because it is easier to leave then give up their unreal idea of love.

Lee continues: Well that was sobering. Paul and I agree that the construct that is love has been bastardized by every adolescent fantasy and immature person out there. Society has accepted this idea of love as dramatic, painful and moody. But true love is none of those. Society has taken for granted that love can be violent, irrational and unforgiving. And love is none of those either.

          We accept defenses such as crimes of passion and actually have included this in the courtroom to explain and excuse deadly behavior. In our society, it was only a couple of decades ago that we started to see Domestic Violence as a crime whereas previously we referred to it as ‘Love taps’. We still have whole sections of our country that sees this as normal!!! And I am not referring to minorities or rural folk. I’m referring to our own kids. Teenagers overwhelmingly believed that the Rihanna’s beat down by Chris Brown was a private love matter. What are we doing wrong here? It all comes back to love and what we think it is. The romanticized concept of euphoria is not love either. That is infatuation and lust. So we will attempt to define a healthy love. Please avert your eyes if you are committed to being unhealthy.

          Love is accepting, funny, forgiving, healing, logical, clear, tender, playful and understanding. Love is not boring, violent, transient, optional, theatrical and limited. Being in love makes you more productive, focused and energized. Forgetful, absent-minded and moony are attributes of someone in lust. Love is not an excuse. Love does not drive you to be irresponsible. Being in a loving relationship means that there is mutual respect and honor, the act of infidelity is an anathema to that commitment.

          I know you have to reconsider your favorite love song and movie. You can argue with us if you want, but we have science behind our theory and you have a billion moony eyed, immature, stalking assholes. I’ll take the white coats.     

          Paul continues: Just to be clear, I love being in love but lust is pretty fun too. Officially, depending on which model you adhere to, love has three attributes to it: lust, romance, and long-term attachment. If you do not have all of them, it’s not real love. You think I was sobering before, let that concept really sink in then ask yourself how many times you have been truly in love. Now that is sobering.

          Lee and Paul say: All this sobering makes us want to drink.    


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