THE Relationship Blog
Let’s review. No. There is too much. Let’s sum up. The holidays can be stressful. Some people may even get pissed if you call them ‘holidays’. We want the holidays to be perfect but really have no clue what the perfect holiday looks like. And Santa isn’t real but kind of is but not in the way we thought as children. Now our inner child is all sorts of confused and has decided to throw a tantrum in the corner of our psyche.
Now some of you may be enlightened and mentally grounded. You might be the type that goes walking hand in hand with your inner child, spinning and twirling in a field of daisies and laughing without a care in the world. This post is for the rest of us. This is for the ones of us who are too busy trying to cram in four weeks of work on top of our already busy schedule so that we can be free to enjoy our holidays by working our asses off at home to make the perfect Christmas.
One of the problems with holiday stress is that it is just so much and it is not always obvious. Sure there are the one that you see readily like not enough money, not enough time, and not enough good cheer between the people telling you nastily that you need to be more loving and the people telling you happily that you need to pay more. Then there are the less tangible emotions that come with parents that are no longer in your life. (Did that bring a lump to your throat?) Or parents that are too much in your life. (Did that bring a knot to your stomach?) And those are just the parents. What about the brothers and sisters, grandmas and grandpas, friends and neighbors. How about your clergy that wants to bring you closer to God? Or the homeless guy that you have been promising yourself to help, maybe volunteer at the shelter? And don’t forget that you only have a few more weeks until the end of the year and then everything starts new.
Are you stressed yet? Just writing this has made me nauseous.
During this time of year, more than any other time, just breathe. Yes, in and out. If you are up to dissecting your emotions, go for it. But if you are not then do not beat yourself up. You have a lot on your psychic plate. So breathe. Use your words. Words like ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I am sad’, ‘I am overwhelmed’, and ‘I am giddy’ all serve to coalesce your thoughts, not to mention letting your partner know why you are in such a mood. Say the words then breathe it out. Let it go. You are not going to fix the world between December 15th and December 24th. So give yourself permission nurture, be nurtured, sing, dance, and eat too much. Give yourself permission to love and be loved. This is the greatest gift that you can give.