Handle Your Love

          A single drop of water can start a flood and a snowflake can cause an avalanche. Everything is significant and nothing is expendable. These are certain mindsets that can help people in life. Unfortunately, most people can’t see beyond their front porches or even beyond their own noses. This is the realm of the ego and in the kingdom of love the ego is the court jester.

          Lee says: Wow, what a fancy opening. I feel all dressed up now and fear that I may lose the decorum that has been set for this post. I realize the occasion may not call for heels or a tiara but I really should get out of my sweat pants and shirt that refers to joys of judging others. And I probably should control my outbursts. You know, I should curb the need to pass gas or drop a ‘fuck’ here and there. Well, I’ll do my best.

          As we discuss what love is, we must always look at our individual contribution to the delicious emotion. Like a drop of water, our part in the affection tango is vital to the life cycle of the relationship. We tend to look at love as an entity outside of ourselves that is bestowed to us by angels or a chubby kid with wings and arrows. Real love is created and molded like a sculpture. This brings me to the most important truism about love:

          Love is responsible.

          I know. Really sex isn’t it?

          When we create a deep and healthy love with someone, we do not forget our role in this coupling. A healthy loving couple takes responsibility for their love. Notice that I did not say ‘they take responsibility for their share or part in love’. They are responsible for all of the love. Love is not piece-meal even though that is exactly what we are taught it is.

          We have written many times about responsibility and next to words like relationship, love and couples that word ranks in the top 10 words we use over and over again. The importance of understanding the role responsibility plays in your own relationship success is critical if you ever wish to have a love of ages. I will assist by bulleting the salient points.

          -Couples in love are responsible for themselves and their needs.

          -Couples in love feel a deep responsibility for maintaining their relationship and do not depend on their partners to ‘do their share’.

          -Couples in love understand that their relationship is their priority and are responsible for the care and feeding of it.

          I know that on any given day I can carry my relationship if I need to. Confused?

           Here is an example. Paul hurt his back a couple of years ago and was placed on bed rest for a while (if you know Paul this was tantamount to asking him to peel off his own skin). The injury was so bad he could not lift his legs so bed rest was not only prescriptive it was necessary since falling would probably aggravate the injury. I’m no Doctor. I’m just guessing. During this time, I chose to take on his duties and mine, caring for the kids, home and him. I also took time a million times a day to tell him how much I loved him and how I needed him to rest to get better. I would remind him of how wonderful and sexy he is. He was laid up, sad and frustrated. Flattery and sex work wonders in these times.

          His recuperation was a time of great foundational work for our relationship. The hard times are when your responsibility is called upon and tested. It is easy to love during the good times and better to love during the tough times. He is and forever will be my drop of water that makes all the difference in my life.  

          Paul says: Can’t write. Busy crying now. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.

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