Gay Suicides

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          I am in love. I have loved the same person for more than 20 years. I fell in love after only a few short weeks of courting. In the last 20 years, my love has grown and we have shared that by starting a family. We have a home, a good support system and participate in our community. Now here is the question: Does it matter at this point whether the person I love is a man or a woman?

          We decided to take a second and write something concerning the terrible rash of suicides committed by gay teens after being bullied. We have several very close friends who are gay and the idea of someone pushing them around because they are who they are just boils our blood. Unfortunately, this is normal for the GLBT community. One our friends just posted a status saying that every gay person has a ‘horror story’. Does that make anybody else angry? How many people have to get hurt or die for people to notice? Should it even matter that they are GLBT? We don’t think so.

          These are hate crimes. Picking on a person because they are different is a hate crime. When Nazi’s burn down a synagogue, we easily identify this as a hate crime. When a group of rednecks beat up a black man and drag him behind a car, we easily identify this as a hate crime. When you single out a person, group or religion because they are different from you and subject them to abuse, that is a hate crime.

          One of the reasons we are having any issue with charging children for bullying other children because they are gay is because too many adults have done this in their youth. One of the reasons we have difficulty calling this a hate crime is because, up until the other day, we were using the f word and referring to something as ‘gay’ when it was stupid. One of the reasons we have difficulty calling this a hate crime is because we buy into this concept that we have freedom of speech and stating your dislike for a homosexual is your right.

          If we were honest with ourselves, we would be locking up every gay-bashing homophobe in the country. If we were honest with ourselves as a nation, we would start the homophobe round up with jerks like National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and arrest every one of them. If we were honest, we would see that being anti-gay isn’t like being a democrat or a republican. If we were honest, we would see that you would have to be a masochist to choose to be gay in this schizoid climate of acceptance and intolerance.

          Things are coming to a head. All must reach the point of a revolution to effect a radical change. This is not only a change of laws but also a change to the zeitgeist. We must become intolerant of intolerance. We must see organizations like NOM as nothing more than hate spewing fronts for fearful people who still throw rocks at the sun and try to run from their own shadows. And when this revolution happens and equality is finally won, then we can begin to teach acceptance. Then we can teach our children that there is never a reason to tease another child. It is unacceptable regardless of the beliefs they are taught. Then, teens like Seth, Asher, Billy and Tyler will rest in peace, free from the bullies and hateful society that would never allow them a normal life.


  • Amazing post! Love you guys

  • hinchey

    right on. I really don’t understand why people have any issue with gay people.

  • Amy

    Powerful. Truthful. Timely. Pass it on!!!

  • lori

    Thank you for saying it so well.

  • Jorge Montero

    Thank you, we needed this.

  • nothingpetty

    Many thanks. As long as the ignorant (50 cents, e.g.) are admired and imitated, the young gay’s world will not change.

  • disclaimer: i sort of went off on a tangent at the end of this response, but i don’t wish to edit it, lol. i felt so passionate that the words just kept coming. thanks for the read. i will be mentioning your blog in my next blog (seedbuzz).

    Coach Dee

    well! that was so eloquently put. the day i came out to myself (so to speak) was the day that i asked myself “why the hell would you chose to be gay?” when i realized that i had to be me, i couldn’t deny myself love with a woman anymore than i could deny being black. and i was free!

    as for honesty, i’m not really sure it’s what this country was built on, so the dishonesty is a huge, deep-rooted habit to break, but i see the light and know that it is possible, and it’s up to those of us who know the truth to live, breathe and spread it.

    and lastly, people like 50 cents are not the people we need to be worried about, he has his own issues with his own bi-sexual mother that therapy would probably help, he is also being used as a scapegoat right about now, we need someone specifically to be angry at, and we are choosing him. i was on one site where a comment was left in response to his twitter mishap “i hate, hate, hate 50 cents!” (hate 3 times. it kinda bothered me to read, because isn’t that what we are trying to kill here? hate?

    i’ve heard more hate and bigotry in church–where there are open, vulnerable, empty hearts and minds waiting to be filled up with something than i have heard in anything that i have heard in a 50 cent tweet. he’s a a**hole, and i don’t even like much about him, but i’m not sure his ignorance is the influence of any of the crimes and bullying that are going on. i’m almost sure its being taught in the home and the churches–the places where children should be safe from hate, and it seems they just aren’t–seems like it’s what they are being fed, more often than those awfully nutrient void school lunches…i think that all of us–every writer, blogger, friend, lover, sibling, parent, pastor and every organization that wants bullying to end needs to unify NOW, we need to be dedicated wholeheartedly to this issue. it’s NOT new–there were always bullys (david and goliath, and we see who won, lol) and it’s just not about us gay people–we can start with us. i would love for us to be the one’s to crack this cold-case, but before i knew i was gay, i was obviously an overweight child, it was something that i couldn’t hide, like some can deny sexuality, and didn’t know how to tackle it. the pain and torment that i was subjected to by bullies in school and beyond (there was a pre-school teacher and some random elderly lady in a supermarket isle) was something that i will never forget.

    recently, i cried for myself and i didn’t even know it hurt anymore, and i’m no longer overweight–but i hurt so deep for that little girl i used to be…we all need to get together and force love and compassion down the throat of hate. HATE IS A STRONG WORD, BUT LOVE IS A STRONGER ACTION!

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