Food and Therapy
It’s Friday and we are so excited to report that we actually received some questions! We are also happy to report we received our first snarky comment. We love comments so please write whatever you feel. Our ego is strong enough to handle a little criticism. Please note that we said ‘little’.
The first question comes from California: ‘How do I get my child to stop thinking about food? I plan on taking him to get examined to make sure that there are no hormonal concerns. The thing is whenever he’s bored, there is a commercial or he has any free time (which is often) he thinks of food. I don’t supply the food and I have been encouraging him to think about something else. He say’s sometimes, “oh, yeah, I remember, think about something else, like trains, school…” Thank you for your response!’
Lee says: I’m glad you are taking him to be checked by a medical professional. Most parents forget that much of what is needed to diagnose a child is a process of elimination. Jumping to diagnosing a kid with a mental condition should be the last option. That being said, bored eating is becoming a way of life for our kids. The advent of 24/7 kids TV programming coupled with video games have our kids living such sedentary lives that food has become a mindless habit. In my opinion, they aren’t really thinking of food all the time. I think some of what they do is not mindful at all. What I am doing with my kids is giving them verbal cues such as ‘check inside and tell me if you feel hungry’ or ‘if you are very hungry, you can have this healthy snack’. This conversation makes the eating mindful and you also run the possibility of having the kids eat something good for them.
But, as the mother of 2 boys, I find that they normally eat like piranha. I have never see children eat like this. Paul assures me that he did. They eat some days and others they seem uninterested. They go through cycles of voracious eating and then selective and finicky nibbling. Good luck with your son and let me know how it goes.
This last weekend, we were in a retreat doing our therapy work and we gained many insights that will probably show up in future posts. This question came to us on Facebook (check out our CoupleDumb fan page!).
‘ in a happy truly happy marriage, with a loving family and tons of support, why do you need therapy? Is it just for maintenance?’
Lee says: My reaction to the question was ‘Isn’t this an obvious one?’ And then I realize that most people think you need to be majorly ‘fucked up’ to go to therapy. I continue my healing and personal growth so that I can maintain my healthy marriage and foster my supportive family. Consider it an oil change! But it is also a question of discovering why I do the things I do. The self destructive behaviors that don’t serve me are still alive and well in me and I need to figure those out. My weight, the way I rescue people and then resent the shit out them and get pissed at myself and other interesting ways-of-being are all on my therapy to do list.
I do my work side by side with my husband. He works on his shit and me on mine. I rarely have issues with him and that has much to do with being clear ourselves and learning how one another operates (now we have an owner’s manual).
Also, the marriage and supportive family is outside of me, isn’t it. At the end of the day, when I’m lying in bed with my thoughts, having the most amazing husband and best family, things matter little if I am disappointed or angry with myself. It’s like an emotional spa that leaves you feeling relaxed, reinvigorated and ready to take on the world. It also doesn’t hurt that the kids stay home.
Paul says: To the first question; carrots and Legos. Lots of each.
For the second question, I have a standing philosophy that, twice a year, I see my doctor, my dentist, my therapist, and my priest (insert religious leader that fits your belief system) to keep my total person happy. Lately, I’ve had some issue with the priest component. Maybe a guru will work.