Flash Paper Relationships

There's a woman's vagina in that flame.

          Thursday, our favorite day of the week! We have been discussing relationships this week and listing some of our rules to create healthy relationships. So far we have discussed the importance of acknowledging the connections and establishing boundaries. Today’s post is specific to those in romantic relationships but, as is our way, can be applied to all involvements. That’s right everybody, CoupleDumb is like the Ginsu
knife of all relationship blogs!

          Lee says: I remember the beginning of our relationship; the tentative touching which led to the voracious pawing. It was hot! When we could spend extended periods of time together, we were usually in some form of undress and aerobic activity that required privacy. We were obsessed with each other and it was erotic and exciting.

          But like all fires, they eventually die down. However, the passion is still there. No we don’t spend all of our alone time doing the horizontal mambo but we still are pretty hot for each other. The difference between then and now is that we are more productive. I can assure you those horny kids could not do what we do now. Their heads were somewhere else and their idea of relationship was an idealized fantasy of non-stop fucking. Not that there is anything wrong with a weekend like that every now and then. This leads us to one of our rules for healthier relationships:

          Know the difference between love and flash paper.

          Flash paper is the stuff magician use to create those mini fire effects where it appears that they are actually creating flames out of thin air. The paper is treated with magnesium so they flare up and burn out quickly. Flash paper burns hot for a couple of moments, quickly stops and doesn’t even leave ashes.

These types of relationships work exactly the same way: they burn hot and stop abruptly.

          There are many people whose entire involvement history is a series of flash paper relationships. The kind of people who say ‘Oh God, I just met this guy/girl and it was like magic. We talked all night and then had sex and then we’re going to spend the weekend together and then we had a fight and I haven’t talked to him/her since but we loved each other.’ You know who I’m talking about. These people think that there is something wrong in a relationship when you go a night without sex or you just don’t have the constant urge to straddle him and ride him like the bronco he is.

          We have spoken of the ebb and flow of a relationship before and in these cases, flash paper relationships cannot handle the ebb. You don’t create a solid foundation to take you through the darkness before there is another flash. Some people just don’t have the patience for that. What do you mean wait for the passion to build up again? I want it now! Well sorry sweet-cheeks, it doesn’t work that way.

          After 20 years, we plan our flashes and let them build up for maximum satisfaction. In between, we talk and fool around. We tease each other and talk dirty. The magic comes from our love and ability to weather the storms by holding fast to one another. We have built something solid and flashy tricks aren’t going to entice us into letting that fall apart.

          So what, you can make a little fire for a second with your hands. Big deal! I can do a card trick and Paul can make a bag of Cheetos disappear in less than an hour.

          Paul says: A few points of clarification:

  1. Our aerobic activities did not require privacy. We just did that as a courtesy to those around us. 
  2. Unlike magician’s flash paper, flash paper relationships do leave an indelible emotional residue.
  3. I can leisurely kill a bag of Cheetos is 20 minutes. 

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