Don’t Judge.

He can't judge, now can he?

          Another Monday in the dead of summer and we are here to share another piece of wisdom before you run off to work or the beach. This summer has been amazing. We spent a couple of weeks in Los Angeles and will have our first book signing this Saturday at Books and Books in Coral Gables, Florida. We are so excited we can’t see straight. So here we are getting ready for the most important day in our writing career to date and what are we worried about? Obviously, we are worried about what everybody worries about. What will people think about us.

          Lee says: We judge. Everything we do here at CoupleDumb is judgment. Sure, we are intelligent, educated and experienced but our opinions are nothing more than our judgments. From our WTF of the Week to Celebrity Smackdown, we judge people, events and behaviors. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

          People are judgmental by nature. From the moment we become conscious in the morning until we pass out at night, we judge things. Do you like it? Is it good? Is it bad? Too hot? Too cold? Too tight? Just right? It’s like we all are friggen Goldilocks and the world is just a bowl of porridge. So, if this is the case, why is being judgmental such a bad thing? Isn’t being non-judgmental almost inhuman?

          The answer to this is like defining a word with the same word. To dissect the good from the bad, of course, requires more judgment. Experience is something that we immerse ourselves in and it is pure of judgment. So to judge, we must extract yourself from the subject. Thus, when we become film critics we are no longer just enjoying the film. When you judge others, you must separate yourself from them.  

          Now don’t get me wrong, I have not reached sainthood and I was not planning on it anytime soon (especially since we were kicked out of the church). The problem I find with judging is that I can no longer enjoy myself. If I grade somebody, I naturally want to move on and I tend to lose out on people. If I judge a situation, my blinders go up and no matter how wonderful the situation gets, I am done with it. If I am having a bad time somewhere, Tom Jones circa 1977 can show up and do ‘What’s new pussycat?’ while gyrating his hips at me and I will still be looking for an exit. (This actually happened to me and I think it could possibly be the first time a man elicited those tingly feelings in me. Thank you for letting me share. Stop judging me.) 

          This takes me to the concept of staying present. In the present, there is no room for judgment. Sure, people can insist on praying to Jesus but let’s face it, Christians can be quite judgmental themselves. What works for me is to let things unfold. I can make any time a good time. I can joke and cajole until people laugh or I, at least, can amuse myself. I remind myself that ultimately, it is always about me. My perception of events and people are what I take from everything and the negative will stock pile until I am alone.

          I can go now knowing that when we meet on Saturday, I will not judge you and I know you will not judge me. We will become fast friends and call each other and braid each others hair. I will see you for the wonderful person you are and you will remember this post and remember that I am a tree hugging, hippy, freak who probably does drugs. You would be right except for the drugs.

          Paul says: I’ll judge everyone. It’s what I do. I’m good at it. You wouldn’t tell Michelangelo not to paint, would you?


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