Does love hurt or is it a gas bubble?
CoupleDumb wanted to take a second and send love and felicitations to all the fathers, stand up guys and Mamas out there that do Daddy duty for a child. Thank you for giving of yourself and being there for a kid. We hope your Daddy’s Day was everything that you deserved! Now to business! What’s going on? It struck us last week that we needed to get some focus. We have the kids home for summer and since we would need to sell a kidney and retina to pay for summer camp, they are firmly wedged up our ass while we try to bring you gem-posts like usual.
We have also been working at getting an agent for our relationship book. This has the added benefit of us discussing the contents of our book which is exciting and ultimately giving us ideas of what to write for you! Aren’t you lucky? You had no idea that, when we steal away for an hour to Starbucks, we actually discuss you! So, one of the realizations that we had, actually it was more like a visceral knowing rather than an aha experience, was that we operate under so many relationship myths in this society that it behooves us to begin dispelling those to get to the authentic love we all deserve. In other words, these next two weeks, in honor of the cleansing we are actually doing now, we are doing a relationship myth enema!
Lee says: We started a toxin cleanse a couple of weeks ago. We drink a really gross thing in the morning which tastes like sand and old celery salt with essence of orange and take fiber pills and Aloe Vera. This has the general effect of Roto-Rootering your colon. So with a clear colon and mind I have been watching you guys and listening to your conversations and hearing the vapid lyrics. I have been checking out the trends and reading the articles. All this research has lead me to the first myth that we will discuss.
I warn you that this one is going to be a tough one to let go. It is everywhere but this simple change in how you see things could make such an incredible difference in your life you will be dying to name your fist born after me. So here it is:
Myth: Love hurts.
You know me, right? I tend to be emotionally honest and am quick with the joke. I cry at the drop of the hat but have few filters if someone deserves a verbal beating. What you may not know about me is that I have a very high tolerance for pain. I have fibromyalgia and do not take any meds for the aches and pains. I have given birth and had kidney stones clean and sober. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a control thing but honestly, I can deal.
What I have never understood is describing the physical feelings of love like you have the flu. Nausea. Dizziness. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Lack of concentration. I have no idea if they are happy or need a fucking vaccine! Seriously people, does that sound appealing to anyone? Of course it doesn’t because being in love is not a viral reaction. Falling in love is like jumping in a pool when you’re hot or taking a hot bath when you are cold. It is the yang to your yin.
Love is not painful. It does not leave marks or send you flowers when it kicks the shit out of you. What they are describing when they say that love hurts is relationship addiction. Love does not allow you to accept abuse. Love reminds you that you are important and deserve the world. If we remember this, we will save ourselves from much drama, lots of therapy and possible hospital visits.
Paul says: The only time that love should hurt is if there is leather and handcuffs involved. But that is the stuff of a different post.
Unlike Lee, my pain tolerance is old snail ass low. So trust me when I say that, if love hurt, I would never do it. You would need to hypnotize me to fall in love the same way I had to be put into a trance so that they could take blood without me fainting. Hell, I’m getting the cold sweats right now thinking that love might hurt me. No, no, no.