Crazy Of Our Loins
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This week we are taking up a magnifying glass to the crazies, little off, and not quite normal people in our lives. When they are cousins that are removed as many times as possible, it is fun to place the ‘spot the crazy’ game but what about if the person in your life that is a little off center sprang from your own loins?
Paul says: Before I start pointing fingers at our kid’s mental acuity, I need to do a little preface. There is such a thing as normal. Normal is a mathematical term used in statistical analysis. If you have a nice bell curve, normal is the line down the center. Lee’s sister is a school psychologist and she wrote an article on this for ParentDumb. In the article she says, ‘Development is pretty much the same all over the globe. Children learn to smile at around 3 to 4 weeks of age, begin to roll over at age 3 to 4 months, etc. This is true here in the US, as it is deep in the heart of the Amazon jungle. Therefore, we already have a set of behaviors that developmental professionals have deemed “normal”. It’s just “normal” because it happens consistently over and over again at the same age(s).’
The other thing that you need to remember is that our daughter has multiple disabilities that, by definition, means she is not normal. Since she is blind, on the bell curve of sight, she is way to the left, playing catch with Stevie Wonder and Andrea Bocelli. Yet she is extremely successful, going to college next year.
One of the reasons that she is such a success is that she is stubborn and we are aware. She has done some amazing stuff with her life so far and much of this comes from her inbred self-determination, but some of this is because of Lee and me. Yes, after almost 18 years of saying, ‘Aww shucks, it was all her’, I’m giving us some credit too.
Somewhere along the line, we looked at our daughter and saw that she was not sitting on the top of the bell curve. In some cases she was blowing past her developmental milestones and in others… Don’t ask her to catch a ball.
So when do you look at your kid and start playing the ‘spot the crazy’ game with them? Whether it is bad crazy like Junior has an unnatural liking for sharp objects, or the good crazy with little Suzie finding eigenvalues before naptime, it is a parents duty to be honest with themselves and do what is needed to achieve the best for their child.
One of the other things that my sister-in-law said was to find resources. ‘Contact your nearest developmental center, usually run by your school district. These places usually have a diagnostic center where they can do developmental screenings and that may be all you need to put your worries to rest. If more testing is needed, and yes, we do evaluate little ones, 5 and under, then a full evaluation will take place that helps determine the levels your child is at and if there are any delays that need remediation.’
This has been a difficult post to write because we all want to support our children with words of potential and hope. Unfortunately, it is the greatest disservice a parent can do by ignoring the obstacles that damper this wonderful potential.
One of the last things that Lee’s sister says, ‘Don’t give up hope. You will find the answers you seek about your child. When you find that person with the answers that make sense to you as the parent, remember their name and use them as a resource throughout your child’s life. Let them be your “Go To Person” when you have questions or concerns.’
Just because you have spotted the crazy, doesn’t mean that the crazy owns you. This rule goes for friends, children, spouse, or even spotting the crazy in you. Trust me, I have all kinds of crazy running through me…OK, galloping through me like a wild stallion on PCP.