CoupleDumb’s List of Dysfunctional Music

I can't think of anything to write about this that doesn't require a prescription pad.

          Good morning friends! We hope your weekend was restful and you have a lot of energy to take on this new week. We were lucky enough to spend some time this weekend playing the new Beatles Rock Band game.

All we can say was WOW! Music has such an effect on all of us. Hearing and playing the songs that everybody knows and loves reminded us of how universal music is. Music inspires, incites and initiates people into new journeys in their lives. The Wedding March, Pomp and Circumstances, and Happy Birthday are encoded in our DNA and we all react with the appropriate response after hearing only a couple of bars. Some music, however, should be banned for being insipid.

          Lee says: ‘All you need is love’ and ‘Let it Be’ are songs that can be someone’s theme song. However there are some songs over the years that you have to wonder what the songwriters were smoking when they wrote it. To say that these songs are dysfunctional is really to miss the bigger point. What is sicker: writing a fucked up song or liking the fucked up song and playing it over and over again? I say at least the song writer got paid. Here is CoupleDumb’s list of dysfunctional music that should come with the warning label: Caution: This music contains some things that could ruin your life.


  • ‘Hero’ Enrique Iglesias: ‘I can be your hero, baby’ – uh, no thank you. In a healthy relationship, no one saves the other and all are treated with respect, not idolized or put on pedestals. This is for your own safety. The first step off the pedestal is a doozy and you usually land on you partner.
  • ‘Me and Mrs. Jones’ Billy Paul: ‘We both know that its wrong, but its much too strong to let it go now’ – so is crack. Sick! This is the relationship addiction theme song.
  • ‘I will always love you’ Dolly Parton: ‘And I will always love you’ – that’s nice. What’s your name again? Let it go people. You broke up, move on.
  • ‘Hey there Delilah’ Plain White T’s: ‘Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City’ – really nice since my looser musician boyfriend stayed in Bumfuck, Tennessee. This is the song you are listening to while you are sleeping with someone else. Once again, let it go.
  • ‘Unchained Melody’ Righteous Brothers: ‘and time can do so much
    are you still mine?’- yeah, sure. I love this song but honestly it’s only because of ‘Ghost’ and the whole pot throwing scene that it became this really OMFG love song. Ah, he’s dead but he’s till loves you and will haunt your ass forever, forever, forever….
  • ‘You’re beautiful’ James Blunt: ‘But we shared a moment that will last till the end’ – this is exactly what David Hinkley thought about Jodie Foster. It’s not a pretty song. It’s a stalking fantasy. Know the difference and live a healthier life.
  • ‘You were always on my mind’ Willie Nelson: ‘little things I should have said and done’ – like stuck around. This is the theme song for the tortured guy who abandoned his wife and family. Hey, at least he thought about you while he was fucking someone else.
  •  ‘Bleeding Love’ Leona Lewis: ‘you cut me open baby’ – well, ain’t that nice. The words aren’t bad but the imagery is really disturbing. She wants to stay open – that’s good. She likens this to her man cutting her heart open and bleeding love – that’s icky.
  •            I could go on and on but you get the idea. Choose your life’s score. Fill your life with healthy words and beautiful melodies like from System of a Down or Elton John, which is what I listen to on Monday morning. A cup a coffee, a little ‘Fuck the system’ and ‘Bitch is back’ and I am ready to go.



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