Committed or should be.
One of the things we have loved to do on this blog is to discuss the relationship craziness of celebrities. We have done this in the form of WTFs and Celebrity Smackdowns and have mentioned countless celebrities. As we discuss what love is, one of the concepts that seem to elude celebrity is that of commitment. Please do not assume we mean that celebs are the only ones that don’t understand that concept. Normal people lack commitment too!
Lee says: If you have been around someone getting married or have done the deed yourself, you know that it takes a shitload of time and energy to create a magical day of matrimony. In fact, according to popular opinion it takes approximately a year to plan a wedding. Most of that time is spent on dresses and choosing a venue for the event and reception. The planning of a wedding is boiled down to the matches and favors on the tables. Hell, couples even need to choose specific pieces of music, the order of the dances, introductions and all the other minutiae involved in the post wedding hoopla!
After all this, couples actually separate and get divorced after a few months of wedded bliss. Wait, I guess it really wouldn’t be called ‘bliss’ if you get separated a few months after getting married. I mean, it has to be really horrible to be living with someone that you have irreconcilable differences with, right? I mean, I get uncomfortable when Paul pulls out the grape jelly when he makes PB&J sandwiches. Being a strawberry kind of girl, the mere sight of grape jelly in my cupboards is an abomination to me. Could you call that an irreconcilable difference? Sure, why the fuck not?
So here is the truth about love. LOVE IS COMMITTED! There is no easy out clause when you are in love. You know you are in that for the long haul. You don’t have a line in the sand or concrete saying ‘if this bitch/bastard does this, I am so out of here’. You have a concept of ever after not based on hopelessness but on creating something that will stand the tests of time. Yes, it is possible that a loving couple can get divorced due to unforeseen occurrences. Yes, it is possible that people can change and as a couple evolves they may evolve separately. However, ultimately, all of these possibilities would have been sensed, discussed and ultimately accounted for throughout the marriage.
It drives me nuts when couples break up over things that are as innocuous as ‘we grew apart’. It chaps my ass when I hear things like ‘we wanted different things’. I think I may go postal if I hear anyone say ‘after the kids left, we were like strangers’ again. You know why these things bother me? Because you can see it coming and choose to do abso-fucking-lutely nothing!
I know I may seem like I am being harsh but reality is not a kind perky girl who gives you cookies and lemonade. Reality is a bar-fly bitch with one inch of roots showing through stiff peroxide/brittle hair, etched, blotchy skin with a hairy mole and cigarette dangling from her mouth. She would rather give you a STD than a tasty confection. The reality is that at some point in your relationship, you choose to give up. This is what irreconcilable differences mean. It’s not like one day you wake up and you must choose the North over the South. Even with those dichotomies, couples choose to make their relationships work because they have built something bigger than themselves and their egos.
Look at us. I was a cool, hip chick with shoulder pads and a new wave haircut in the 80s and Paul was a sci-fi geek but we made it work. I’m not saying it didn’t pain Paul to stop sleeping on Star Wars sheets but his priorities were clear and thus 21 years later, we still have wedded bliss.
Paul says: As long as you keep wearing the Princess Leia as slave girl outfit, I’m good. And after we are done, I can eat the cinnamon rolls on your ears.