Choose Hope

Real Relationship Advice

There are certain things we need as human beings to keep us going day in and day out. Sure, physical sustenance is vital but as we know that without emotional motivators, we won’t even eat. We are born with nothing but promise but eventually we need to create our own impetus to take the next step.  Our topic this week is the emotional state that gets us out of bed in the morning, makes us take risks and ultimately motivates every one of us. It is hope and without it life is not worth living.

When we discuss mental illness like depression, we tend to use scientifically charged terminology and neurochemicals to explain the disorder. Quite simply, depression has little to do with sadness and more to do with a loss of hope. A person diagnosed with Major Depression, who suffers from insomnia, no appetite, and suicidal ideations all suffer the absence of the one emotional state that makes us create expectations. Without hope we tend to not see the purpose in suffering the slings and arrows of everyday life.

A child is nothing but promise and hope. When a person has a baby aside from the incredible cuteness, they are blessed with the embodiment of hope. A child has no past to cloud expectation and no known character flaw to dampen the possibilities. The child is imbued with all the promise of their kin. As we grow up, our hopes and dreams are fanned or crushed by our abilities. When we are adults, we are either encouraged by our accomplishments and failures or disheartened by our successes and disappointments.

An individual reaches a certain point in their life where they decide if life is something to be feared or enjoyed. An adult lives their life either as an optimist or a pessimist. We become divided as either a person of expectation or a person who is damned to live a ‘Groundhog Day’ existence of ‘Same shit, different day.’  You are either focused on the hope or despair.

Like everything else in life we can choose one or the other. Sure, these choices and ways of being are mostly predicated on our upbringing and who are parents were and how we were taught to see the world. Is the world something to be feared? Is life a cornucopia of awesome? If you stop and think about it, you will be able to answer these questions very easily as to how your parents or caregivers would answer these queries.

Now, even if your parents were pessimistic and Chicken Little’d your whole childhood, you can still choose hope. We are not suggesting cutting off your parents or ignoring your childhood. We are suggesting that it is never too late to create a happy life. First thing we must do is become hopeful. Change only occurs when we believe in the possibility of change and hope for a positive outcome.

So these are the questions you need to ask yourself if you really want to create a happier life.

Do I believe the world is scary place or a cornucopia of awesome?

Do I believe that I am a walking-talking-possibility?

Am I hopeful about my life and future?

Choose hope. Choose happiness.


  • debthompson

    Sometimes we get so bogged down in our depression its hard to find hope. This is a great reminder to search out things to be hopeful for and to continue on. Thank you.

  • ConnieFoggles

    That is so true – “depression has little to do with sadness and more to do with a loss of hope”. As someone who suffers from depression that is how I feel when I’m going through a rough time.

  • Great perspective.  I agree.  I have fought the fight to be allowed to feel my circumstances for a season as my doc wanted to just medicate.  No.  Things were bad.  Things changed.  I got stuck in the rut.  Changed docs and she helped me work through it.
    Hope was sorely lacking.  To learn to hope for the future again, has been a process.

  • CiaoMom

    So very true. I often have said that the thing that made a difference in my not feeling side effects during my chemotherapy is that I remained optimistic, always. While it is normal to feel sad, frustrated, and down at times, the turning point comes when you push that aside.

  • Laurie Anne Lesovsky

    bear hugs from Marlie – even if she does break my sunglasses!

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