Celebrity Smackdown: The Conservative WTFs

          A long time ago we use to do WTF of the Week. Due to so much extra work, we made a decision to discontinue the Saturday post. So the politicos have been doing there thing and we have sat here on our hands turning a blind eye. We have too much to do, we would say. We need to finish that chapter, we would say. Ooh, someone just joined my Mafia! Wait…we didn’t say that (join Lee’s mafia!). Anyways, with our integrity in the toilet, we try to humbly restore your faith in us as we merge a WTF with a Smackdown and create the ‘I smack you down you fuck!’

          Lee says: This week is a perfect time to discuss politics. Communication seems to be treated like a ten dollar whore by the politicos. As the constituents of these word rapists, we should do something about how these people abuse our intelligence, good sense and general auditory senses. I mean, how dumb do they think we are? Now, I have been accused of being an elitist but I do believe that the American public can separate the truth from utter bullshit. Here is a list of some recent statements that have offended me to the extent that I have contacted Canada to research emigrating.

          Pat Buchanan: ‘If Kagan is confirmed, Jews, who represent less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, will have 33 percent of the Supreme Court seats. Is this the Democrats’ idea of diversity?’  I try to give the benefit of the doubt. On face value, the argument that over-representation of any groups anywhere is offensive. However, I assume Pat Buchanan would like a completely representative Supreme Court and I think that’s fucking awesome. So I suppose he wouldn’t mind if we got rid of Scalia completely since Italians don’t even make a full percent of the American population. Also, we would need three more women and one of them needs to be Asian. Buchanan, all these lovely arguments regarding that people keep using the ‘race card’ are based on stuff like this. But why get into the full rant when there is so much more.

          Glenn Beck: From a speech given to the NRA, he stated he agreed with Mao who believed “Power comes from the barrel of a gun”. He went on to say, “Why do you think they want to take yours away?” Wow. Really? If this is right then I’m going out right now and buying a bazooka. Wait a second, isn’t this the bully motto? Or maybe I heard it was the vision statement for the Society of Men with Little Dicks. Either way, I am pretty sure Mao was a communist and if Beck is agreeing with Mao then Beck is….come on….say it…. Sounds like a commie to me.

          Sarah Palin: “Don’t doubt for a minute that, if they thought they could get away with it, they would ban guns and ban ammunition and gut the Second Amendment.” And then they’ll make us wear grey and read little red books and have abortions and make you take down that stupid moose head in your living room. Now, I know I took government a long time ago. In fact, I’m not ashamed to say I took it during the Reagan Administration (first term). However, I do recall that the Bill of Rights are not suggestions. It seems the rhetoric nowadays is about trampling the Constitution. Since most of the people bitching about this can’t spell Constitution let alone tell you what it contains and what it says, I don’t think there is any concern that they will have any real understanding of how the Dems propose to repeal an amendment.

          Now, maybe I’m being an elitist but have they actually read some of these amendments. I mean isn’t everything folksy Sara stands for a pure violation of the 14th Amendment. I mean, denying citizens the rights others are entitled is a violation of the 14th Amendment. But, Sarah, you have never read beyond the first five amendments so why even bring up 14. You are offensive to every living female in this country Sarah. You exploit your sub-par intelligence with an ‘ah shucks’ attitude. I mean ‘how’s that hope-y, change-y thing working for you?’ That’s a bad thing right? Hope, change, empathy (that’s the new Glenn Beck buzz word which apparently has been misunderstood and really means Hitler) are probably among the best words in the English language. But to these loquacious, lead eaters they are now bastardized and used as punch lines.

          ‘Fuck it and fight it, it’s all the same’ (Sublime) is my current modus operendi. If I become enflamed every time these people spoke, I would stroke out. I will pick my battles and use this wonderful brain God gave me along with my right to free speech to stand on my roof top and remind everyone that Palin, Beck, Buchanan, Hannity, Robertson, Gingrich and all the other assholes polluting our airwaves with speculations spoken as truths, theories posited as facts are dirty, stinky, liars. So sayeth me!

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