Celebrity Smackdown: Kanye, Of Course

Then you're a gay fish.

          Wednesday! Hump Day! It is just another day to talk smack about a celebrity who demonstrates dysfunctional behavior. We can call this day show-and-tell with a side of rant or we can call it what it really is: Celebrity Smackdown! This week we chose to marinate in the behavior of one particular celebrity. Last week, he was in the news, papers, every website and pretty sure the topic of cafeteria talk at our son’s Elementary School, in between sharing fruit roll ups. Of course we are talking about Kanye and since this week’s theme is language, he is the perfect example of a meta-message. What’s that you ask?

          ‘Metamessage is the larger, holistic meaning of a message, or the attitude communicated by the message sender or the speaker’s attitude toward what is being said.’ (www.usm.maine.edu/com). People unconsciously interpret metamessages. It’s not something you learn to do but it is something you learn to trust. We often discount the metamessages we receive when people talk to us and choose only to focus on the words. Sure, the speaker would like that sometimes but it’s kind of like ignoring the man behind the curtain.

          Kanye and his frequent outbursts are perfect examples of this. First, we at CoupleDumb would like to go on record and say Kanye West is a narcissistic, ego driven little shit and the demise of his career will signal his slow decent into insanity. We’re not hating, just telling you the truth. What he did at the VMAs a week and a half ago was rude, crude and so incredibly unprofessional that it sent most of the viewing public and subsequent viewers on U-Tube into shock.

          ‘Imma let you finish’ has become the new ‘Where’s the beef?’ But let’s break-down the metamessage. Why did the world react so vehemently to these words? The words communicate that he’ll be done in a moment and she will get the mic back but it also indicates a deeper meaning. He said ‘Imma let you finish’. He meant, ‘I will allow you to finish when I am done’. How generous of Kanye? For a man who prides himself on being intelligent, being surprised with the reaction to this statement is perplexing.

          Kanye then proceeded to have a tantrum when he was kicked out of the VMAs. He was pissed because he lost. The rude behavior had nothing to do with Beyonce or Taylor Swift. He is a petulant little boy who wants to win. This isn’t the first time he’s done this so I have no idea why people would think that the baby would stop. His language gives everything away.

          Within the last year Kanye has realized that his shit talking Ali-esque rap has to stop. You can stop now. He knows this. He’s trying. He’s tapping into a little thing I like to call remorse for his words and behavior. However, remorse is a poor choice of tools to curb your douchery. Doing an apology tour after being an idiot just adds to your idiot persona. Nobody buys it. Oh, and here’s a hint: if you go to your blog and rant and talk shit then subsequently take the post down and repost a sanitized, more mature message, that makes you a Megadouche! Erase, erase doesn’t work. The metamessage of your behavior really is ‘You bitches are so dumb you actually will forget my previous words and focus on the current ones.’

          Kanye, perhaps we need to create some sort of program for you. Perhaps we should get you some professionals to find out where this incredibly fragile ego came from. Perhaps you should take some time off and go study some Eastern Philosophy to tame that bad boy ego of yours. Perhaps you should join a t-ball team and learn how to lose gracefully like other little boys. Perhaps you should buy some glasses that aren’t from an 80’s surplus store because those slit sunglasses were stupid and annoying back then too. Perhaps you should stop saying you speak for a generation since most of the people of your generation aren’t fitted with voice changers and can carry a tune. Perhaps you should stop telling people you would be in the Bible if it were written today because God will smite you with a bad voice and small dick (oops, he already did that.) And finally, perhaps you need to actually listen to the shit you’re spouting and choose to be a better person. Or you can wait around for your spot in the Bible and have the world crucify you every time you do something really stupid.

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