Celebrity smackdown: Celebs losing their s…

Since I am back to smacking down, I have decided to skip opening paragraphs. I am the queen of my domain! I have thought long and hard on this topic of adversity (please read a few moments before blindly tapping on the keys) and did some research (I think I looked at TMZ and Perez Hilton). Then, in a sign that I may have a heart albeit black and smallish, I decided to do an homage. I know I will probably smack someone like some sort of violent tic.

In the land of celebrity, adversity is something that is met with a multi-million dollar photo shoot and an interview with Barbra Walters. You ain’t no one until you’ve shared some fucked up tragedy that you will probably use next time you do a movie that requires you to squirt a couple of tears. But honestly, these are things that happen to all of us albeit not under the watchful eye of the paparazzi. I feel for those who suffer tragedy but I have little sentiment for those who throw daily pity parties on Twitter, bitching about how so and so screwed them over or how no one gets the pressure they are under blah blah blah.

I mean, come on, Lindsay. Do you really think regular people fuck up as much as you? I mean, come on, I realize she just got out of rehab but if they would have told me that my outpatient treatment would look like that, I would have opted to go to an in-patient. This is a recipe for disaster. [Please note, I am an addiction professional. A regular inpatient treatment program would probably include 20 hours of treatment a week. She is being ordered to meet with counselors 5 times a week, psychotherapy 4X/week, behavioral therapy 2x/week, drug testing 2x/week and AA meetings. Do the math, she would have been safer and have more time to herself if she had stayed in.] Is this how to deal with this adversity pretending that someone who has no evidence of complying with simple orders can complete this stiff probation without violation? I hate to be mean (not really) but I doubt she will make it. Even the most committed of clients would fail this one.

Others have their adversity projected on the screen for all to see. You have Mel Gibson and his baby-mama-drama. You have Spencer and Heidi playing out their scripted divorce for the media. You have Sarah Palin’s would be son-in-law running for office (I suppose Cheat sheet, gun toting sub morons can hold office in Alaska- Listen Alaska, I am just assuming this based on your previous elected officials). Unlike what others may think, adversity is best dealt with in the open. As a therapist I appreciate watching the train-wrecks and failed attempts at being human but the reality is that these people are playing their adversity up for the drama, not for a solution. I know, call me Captain Obvious!

My beef with these attention whores is that we become engrossed in the drama and miss the lesson. Lindsay’s lesson? When one person calls you an ass, don’t worry about it If 10 people call you an ass, buy a saddle. Lindsay should have bought a saddle long ago. Dina Lohan should have insisted Lindsay buy a saddle a long time ago. How fucked up is it when the only family member who makes sense is a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies?-(Allegedly)

Mel’s lesson is simply Karma. He broke up his marriage over Virgin Mary. This was some weird Catholic fucked up fantasy for him. Then he knocked up Mary. Are you getting the idea here? Mel is God in this little vignette and in his world, God can sometimes lose His shit. His problems are a psychoanalyst’s wet dream!

As for the other nimrods, who gives a fuck? Celebrities, deal with your problems. Grow up. Shut up. Straighten up. Man up. Or just go away and give up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.