Are you a Jedi or are you a Sith?
Since this week’s topic is woman, Lee and I thought that I should take the lead on today’s post. The problem is that I like women. I’m one of those odd men that find women fascinating, intriguing and enticing. I like the way they feel. I like the way they think. I like the way they move through the universe, like a potpourri scented battering ram. Women, for me, are pretty cool.
…And they are all crazy.
At least from a guy’s perspective, women are these magically dervishes, in touch with some elemental force that they call emotions. We cannot hope to comprehend what they are thinking and feeling, so we take the back cart on the rollercoaster and hope that we can endure the ride. This is the mythology behind the great differences between the genders. Now that I have made my grand sweeping statements, I need to tell you that I do not believe that this is, or needs to be, true. Yes, there is a lot of socialization that has happened over the millions of years that humans have evolved. Women create life and, therefore, understand the feel of the processes involved. Men had to stare down a mammoth and found that the less emotional caveman was the one that didn’t get stomped.
But the genetic matrix is not what creates the tragic story of men and women. It is how some people have chosen to use the power of emotion. This is not a battle between men and women but a war between those who use their power for good and those who use it for evil. Yes, this is Jedi versus Sith. This is a Star Wars reference, for those who did not get it, and Luke Skywalker was a Jedi thus making him a good guy. Darth Vader was a Sith which makes him a bad guy. That should be enough information so that everyone understands the analogy. (If not, then you have been living in a cave for the last 25 years and I do not know how you are getting electricity to your computer.)
Before I met Lee, I had a girlfriend. She was a Sith. A crazy, sadistic Sith. She held her emotions close to her, cloaked in darkness, such that I never really knew anything about her. She would wield her light saber of emotion with deadly accuracy. I would never see it coming. All I knew was one moment everything would be fine and the next I would see a flash of light and a piece of me would be missing. To illustrate, my Sith girlfriend liked the Beatles and was into old school stuff. So, for her birthday, I bought her an original Beatles album (I do not remember which but I know it cost a lot). She looked at it and, with no affect, said, ‘thanks’ and flipped it like a playing card to her side. From then on, she would tell people in a casual joking manner that I didn’t give good gifts.
Now fast forward to Lee. She taught me the ways of the Jedi. She helped me to understand what she was feeling and I was able to grow from it. For her birthday, some twenty one years ago, I got her a present. It consisted of a rose, a bottle of her favorite perfume, a negligee (we were exploring our sexuality, so that was both appropriate and appreciated) and a calendar that I made. It was a beefcake calendar of all one hundred and thirty pounds of me, greased up in various poses. It was funny, vulnerable and a huge risk. She could have crushed me at that point (the Sith would have) but she didn’t. She gushed and cried and, because of that, I would have given her the moon.
So, here is the question to the women out there; Are you a Jedi or are you a Sith?
I’ve got one question; when is the 2010 CoupleDumb Calendar due out? 😉
We’re working on it.
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I’d like to think I’m a Jedi. In my previous life, I started out as a Jedi, but I was married to Darth Maul and his life’s goal was to destroy my little weak (as he saw it), happy Jedi heart. I came out of that relationship battered, torn and tattered. Luckily I met my current husband and like Yoda, he helped me up out of that swamp. I’m still working on it tho.
I’m glad you retained your Jedi heart.
Thanks for reading
Too funny! Mostly because it’s true…LOL! Women are crazy….But fearfully and wonderfully made, as their manufacturer attests….Lee’s got herself a Jedi Knight…you go girl!
Thank you
May the Force be with you!
Sounds like you and Lee are the perfect match 🙂
I don’t know anything about Starwars (I was very young when it came out) but I like to think I’m a Jedi. I know I am an emotional crazy mess sometimes, but I don’t hurt people just to hurt them.
Keep being a Jedi. We need more.
Thank you
Great piece, nice Star Wars analogies! And all these years I thought it was a” light saver”, learn something new everyday!
A light Saber makes more sense, doesn’t it. I must admit, I like the image of Yoda flinging little mints.
Thanks for reading.
Most definitely a Jedi. I believe I have even owned a light saber or two in my time. Ok… so they were my son Alex’s. He let me play with them, ok?
As for my Jedi-ness, that is the side of me that is compassionate, loving and nurturing. However, I do believe that I am nurturing my inner Sith to battle all the crap that I have put up with through the years. My Sith allows me to discern the evil coming my way, where the Jedi in me, channels the light!
So,… like a true woman, I am a multiple. Staying true to your theory that we women are crazy!
Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal.