A New Attitude

Real Relationship Advice

Attitude is a judgment call. Attitude is everything. A positive attitude can make up for a lack of aptitude. Attitudes get more promotions than ability!

We like to see attitude as either a positive outlook on life or negative however, attitude is much more than that. By definition, attitude is a judgment but psychologists believe that people either base their attitudes on their judgment or their perception.  While this may seem like splitting hairs to the laymen, the reality is that lots of ink and paper has been spent on the difference between these two concepts. In fact, in the Myers Brigs Personality Test, there is a whole category which labels you either a J or a P.

The difference between the two is subtle but profound. Perception is completely dependent on how we see something whereas judgment is a decision based on our perception. Perception is fed by all the things we are aware of. Our senses feed our perception of the world. Perception is affected by our physical limitation for example, if you are blind, you will undoubtedly perceive the world differently. Whereas our judgment is making decisions with everything we perceive. Our judgments have the added filter of being affected by our experiences. Our judgments are always the result of every experience we have had since the beginning of our existence. If we were abused, we will judge that our perceptions of people may be less than favorable.

Our attitudes are dependent on these two factors. Knowing whether we are a P or a J is helpful because we can choose to alter these processes. For example, understanding the limitations of what we perceive or judge as not truth but opinion will allow us to expand our minds. When we allow our minds to be open to new concepts without pre-judging or perceiving the new information as wrong, we can grow.

The topic is a little heady but really the basis of making fundamental and profound changes to your psyche. When we perceive the world as a hostile, unpredictable place, we will feel stressed. If we judge the world to be filled with evil and chaos, we will feel stressed.

Try this:

1. Go out into the world and do what you do every day.

2. Find one thing to concentrate on- it can be anything- your car, your children, your meals.

3. When you are in front of them- turn your head slightly and really look at them. What new perspective are you seeing?

4. When you are in front of them- think about this object/person without comparing it to anything else. What new judgment do you have?

Life is a weird thing and sometimes to shake things up, we need to look at it a little differently. Try standing on your head or lying on your bed with your head hanging off the side. Whatever it takes to see and feel that things are different.


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