5 Relationship Advice Turn-offs

THE Relationship Blog

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Do you want to know the sure fire way that so-called relationship expert’s show that they’re completely full of shit? There are certain key words that tip their hand. They use the words that strike a nerve with us. They use words that scare the shit out of us! The following is CoupleDumb’s 5 Words that should be used with caution when discussing relationships and calling yourself an expert.

1. Attraction- Guess what? Attraction is a biological system and becoming more attractive to the opposite sex is a crapshoot. For some men, women with high intelligence and a great sense of humor is an intoxicating lure whereas for most big titties and loose morals will probably get you a date or at least chicken McNuggets on a Monday night as you rush to your apartment to have sex and then feel very empty.

2. Chemistry- Guess what? Chemistry is a word invented by guys to not take responsibility for being complete assholes. ‘We had no chemistry’ is the excuse given when you don’t feel the immediate need to hump. The reality is that ‘chemistry’ that they speak of is lust. Lust is not a lingering feeling when there is no foundation. Paul and I had no chemistry for the first year of our friendship. When we started dating and shared intimate moments (not sex but vulnerable times) then we were like KAPOW! Now, 22 years later, we can usually find Paul’s hands attached to my ass.

3. Cheating- If anyone guarantees you that your spouse won’t cheat, they are wizards. No one can control a person’s actions. Infidelity is a choice. No, a penis does not mistakenly fall into a vagina and a vagina cannot trip onto a penis. This does not happen in the real world. And, to be very clear, you can be the best girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife and still be cheated on.

4. Catch him and keep …..- Yeah, we’re getting specific. There is this single man who has made a living preying on lonely women. The guy is not in relationship or, if he is, he holds all the power. How do we know this? His tips are pure manipulation! This self-published relationship expert has the same credentials as all experts in psychology except you can’t see what they are. The man who has made a living on the internet has no wiki page, web site citing his education or practice. In other words, this is a guy who dated some girls and came up with a way to con women into thinking he knew something about relationships. Fucking is not having a relationship and creating a ‘deep, long lasting relationship’ is not garnered through manipulation. (And no, we won’t name him since that would give him juice that he doesn’t deserve and we think it works out a little like Beetlejuice so keep your mouth shut!)

5. Play Hard to get- Any relationship guru that advises to play ‘hard to get’ is really your Mom in disguise. Once he or she gets what they want they will be gone and these were not the right people to start out with.

When two people enter a relationship without an agenda but with true feelings for one another, it will happen eventually barring any real issues or mental health problems. There is no magic bullet and wanting it and faking it will not make it happen. This is not a cake and there is no recipe to make a relationship fluffy. You need to work on yourself and avoid dumping all of your issues into a relationship and the partner needs to do the same. Relationships are not hard. They are not work (since it is defined the amount of heat needed to burn calories). Relationships can be easy, natural and fulfilling if we stop treating them like the spotted unicorns these charlatans have made them out to be.

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