Love or chocolate

Now these are some lofty prioritiesIt’s Valentine’s Day week!  And you are probably wondering; “When did one made up Hallmark Day get its own friggen week?”  We hear you loud and clear.  This week is sweet but the reality is that in the 21 years of our relationship, we have hardly ever celebrated this day.  For us, February 14 is any other day of the year.  Occasionally we have exchanged cards or gone out but it isn’t that important to us unlike some couples that save up their love for a dinner at Red Lobster, a box of chocolate and 2 minutes of sex.  We would rather spread out that kind of joy.

This is another of our little secrets.  We don’t celebrate this day like everyone else because we have PRIORITIES!

Everyday is a day you should be expressing your love and gratitude for your spouse and partner.  Everyday is an opportunity to strengthen your love and to affirm that “yes I choose you all over again”.  It shouldn’t take a pseudo holiday to remind you to profess your feelings to someone and doesn’t the fact that you’re supposed to do that on Valentines cheapen it? 

So what are our priorities?  We will list them in order of importance:

1.    We tell each other every day that we love each other, preferably multiple times with groping too.

2.    We are a united front with one mission.  We like using military terms when dealing with our kids and the world at large. 

3.    We love in the following order ourselves, our relationship, our children, our family and friends.

4.    Nothing is more important that our family unit.

Our choices are based on our priorities.  Sure, it would be nice to go out and celebrate anniversaries and Valentines on a yearly basis but we have three kids!  Babysitters aren’t free and the ones that are come with a side of guilt.

We celebrate our Valentine’s differently than most.  We take the opportunity to make our children feel special.  We make a special dinner and pull out the nice china and stemware.  We bake heart shaped cakes and dip strawberries in chocolate.  We spend it together and celebrate our love for each other.  We know that that sounds really sappy and it doesn’t reflect the cynicism we usually have.  But just once a year we like to remind these little buggers that we do love them and we are blessed to be together. 


  • Christie

    It’s ok to be sappy once in a while… I love that you take time to make this day special for your children. I am 27 and my still gets me chocolates and a card to remind me that although I’m all grown up and have been living away from her for a long time, she loves me. Kids do appreciate that little extra something. At least I know I do. I typically dislike Valentines day and concur that it is a hallmark holiday, but cards and candy always brighten up my day… Now enough with the sappiness and get back to the sarcasm and cynicism… Reading your blog is always a highlight.

    PS… I watched “he’s just not that into you” over the weekend, and you’re column goes alot further than that movie… what a crock.

  • Aidi

    I thought this was quite inciteful and clearly a commentary on forced togetherness and superficial displays of affection. the fact that you do display this love nurturing and affection towards your children I believe establishes a healthy foundation for them and hopefully a tradition for them to employ and enjoy in their future. once again, I am very proud of who you are!

  • Aidi

    to correct… the article was INSIGHTFUL. not that it incited me at all… or maybe it really did and this was a freudian slip? ahhhh…

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