Dream big, sell the moon
Good Monday Readers! We hope this past weekend, where many celebrate their faith, was filled with love and family. We would like to thank you for the opportunity to share our experiences last week. Having a soapbox like a blog makes it pretty easy to blast every jerk in the universe. Like Spiderman says, ‘With great power there’s great responsibility’. We promise to use this power sparingly unless we really want to hurt somebody. We kid! But it’s nice to dream about it.
Lee says: Paul and I are dreamers. In fact, we came together through dreaming. We spent one night just talking and letting our imaginations run wild. We talked about becoming rich by selling advertising on the moon (an idea we copyrighted so don’t even think about it). It was completely ridiculous and indulgent to anyone who would have heard us but was there a deeper purpose to this? It’s through our dreams, goals and visions of ourselves that we create our realities. What we dream, we become.
Sure that sounds all hocus pocus and if it were true everybody would be astronauts, ballerinas and cowboys. I’m talking about the dreams we have that are not fantasy but something we envision for our future. It can be a career, a home, a family or simply a life. This ability to dream is so crucial to the integrity of someone’s psyche. Without it, we might as well wear blinders.
In relationship, this ability is as important as love. A couple who doesn’t dream together has no future. A lack of dreams is like a boat without a rudder. When people enter into relationship, we usually begin by seeing a future together. Since we can see a tomorrow with the other person, agreeing to continue seeing each other is easy. People continue to dream individually but neglect the dreams of the relationship. We simply subject ourselves to the culturally accepted norms of coupledumb. You know what I’m talking about. We are expected to make babies, buy a house and all the other crap that society says is normal.
In most couples, one of the partners gives in to the dreams of the dominant one in the relationship. So they live for the dreams of one and slowly trudge along to the ultimate demise of the submissive partner. What happens is they begin to realize that the dream of the relationship is not theirs. They feel duped and abused because they have had no voice in the direction of the partnership. Instead of taking responsibility for their decisions at the onset of coupling, they blame the partner. Or there are couples where each person has their own dream and they try to support the other with their goals. This is tricky also since the actual relationship is lost in the midst of each person working on their dream.
The secret to a successful couple is sharing the same dream. You work together to achieve your goals. You share a vision that is equal and balanced for both of you. As women, we have been expected to give up our dreams and quietly support our men to achieve their goals. Those days are over but the need to share is more important than ever. A relationship, like a person, operates on certain necessities to sustain it. Aside from love and affection, we need hope. The same hope Paul and I have that Coca Cola will buy the three mile sign on the moon from us. Keep your fingers crossed.
Paul says: When I work with a company doing business development, the first thing that we look at is the mission and vision statements. It is in those statements that the goals of the company, not the individual shareholders, reside. These are the dreams of the company. Now, keeping in mind that Lee and I hold a philosophy of running our marriage like a corporation, ask yourself, what is your relationship’s mission statement? What is the dream of the union, not yours or your significant other, but the sum of the parts that is greater than both? Tough question, isn’t it? (Post them in the comments. I think people would be interested at what you have to say. I know I would.)