Problem with religion…the people.
As we enter Holy Week and the end of Lent, we decided it was time for us to purge as well. We have been writing this blog for a little over two months and enjoying every minute of it. However, those closes to us have asked, on several occasions, when are you going to bust out the good stuff? And by good stuff they are referring to our experiences with the Catholic Church. In keeping with the spirit of this website, we will discuss our experience from the point of view of relationships and the dysfunctional things we do to maintain unhealthy patterns. So, in the name of the Father and the Son we will rip this scab open for your viewing and educational pleasure.
Lee says: Nearly a year ago, Paul and I worked for a Catholic Church. Paul was the business manager and I worked in development. It was an arrangement that allowed us to be involved in something bigger than ourselves and we felt, at the time, part of a community. I will admit, prior to being contracted, I was already expanding my belief system and, as a person raised Catholic, I was comfortable in the routine of the faith but not wholeheartedly invested. My faith, albeit very strong in God, had moved to the East. Paul, however, really wanted to give it another try. So we attended mass every week with our children and enrolled our son in Catholic school so as to be taught in the faith.
Our foray back into the faith took a turn when the pastor laid off the school principal. This set off a series of events that, to this day, is hard to believe. A few of the congregation members decided to blame us for this. And, because of their sense of entitlement and attachment to the school and status quo, they went on a personal vendetta against us. The beauty of this was that no one stopped them. They ran background checks, maligned us and spread rumors that reached every corner of the congregation. We were the bad guys.
The pastor, attached to this belief that he was put into this miasma of crap of a parish unfairly, asked us to ‘lay low’ saying it would ‘blow over’. He did not actively stop our methodical deconstruction and actively avoided confrontations of any kind. Meanwhile, the former principal, still attached to her position of power and glory, campaigned to retain her job through attorneys and the feeding of the rumor mill.
So where were Paul and I during all this shit? We were laying low, being the better people, walking in faith and all that crap that garnered us absolutely nothing. You see, we were slowly coming to the realization that we were attached to this religion because of our upbringing and the familiarity of the faith and its rituals were comforting. Was it true worship? No. It was attachment. And when we become attached to things we lose sight of boundaries and the opportunity to grow. Our attachments were not allowing us to grow in our own spirituality and thus foster a deeper relationship with God. The Pastors attachment would not allow him to see that it was his job to maintain the integrity and safety of his flock because of his attachment to the feeling of being screwed. And the rumor-mongering few were attached to their belief that the church and school belonged to them. So nearly one year since this all began, we forgive you nasty people for all the horrible things you said about us. This Carnival Tattooed Lady is better than all of you. I’m going to go chant now.
Paul says: I don’t forgive them. I’m not the bigger person. If it wasn’t for my lawyers, I’d be post names, addresses and social security numbers. I’ll do my cathartic rant on Thursday.