WTF of the Week: Tiger Woods – We Don’t Care!
We have heroes. Our heroes range from the sappy like our parents to the fantastic like Captain Jean-Luc Picard. We value brilliance and courage over brawn and skill. Sure, we love watching sports and half of this partnership has been known to enjoy the occasional bet on college football. Sure, we can see that there have been many people in this country’s history with questionable intelligence that have accomplished great things. Hell, we learn about Betsy Ross and she was a mere seamstress. Sure she sewed up a great flag but they told her what they wanted and quite frankly an illegal immigrant and a sewing machine would have knocked that puppy out in a couple of minutes and at a fraction of the cost.
So why is the whole country in an uproar over Tiger Woods? Let’s be serious for a second here, the Tiger Wood story trumped the President talking about Afghanistan and Pakistan. People are enthralled with the soap opera that is unraveling with a virtually untouchable sports celebrity. We have never seen the guy get a DUI or get photographed punching the paparazzi or have a porn star claim that he gave her an STD. The biggest scandal was when the golden boy wasn’t winning as much a couple of years ago. But he was forgiven and more people threw money at him because his Dad/Mentor/Coach had died. He was heartbroken. Do you think he’s going to blame his Dad’s death on his extracurricular wick-dipping? But did we really need to grind everything to a halt because Tiger was in an ‘accident’? We had an accident on Wednesday and no one even sent us a card!!
Listen, we want to be really clear here. WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!! He is not our hero or an elected official or a televangelist who espouses the horrors of fornication. He’s a sports dude. Sure it’s golf which is a step above bowling in terms of wow factor and whether you can drink and play professionally but still a sports dude. Did his wife kick the shit out of him? Did he really fuck a reality show bimbette? WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK! Come on people, it’s Christmas time and we have more important things to do like plan a surprise birthday party for Lee and get her lots of presents. Maybe Tiger can show up on the 19th and say hi. Maybe his wife can come with him and maybe they can leave the clubs at home.