WTF of the WEEK: Michael Jackson’s Family
Last week we were a little brutal with our faux eulogy of Michael Jackson. In fact, it was more of a societal bitch slap than a eulogy. However, despite the un-p.c. nature of our response to his sudden death, we will not back down. Michael’s death, as in life, has spawned a veritable freak show of stuff. The only thing missing are the monkeys, Elephant Man bones and masks.
First a word about Michael’s father, Joe. WTF man? Your son just fucking up and died and you are on the BET Award pre-show hawking your new record company with your friend Marshall? Who gives a shit? People want to know how the family is and all you can say is ‘Doing great!’ O.K., we get it. Shock. But then the next day during a family press conference that you called you mention the record company again as if anyone cares! Joe Jackson, you have vehemently denied abusing Michael but your reaction to his death is not unlike if you would have lost one of your bitches from your stable. You are a pimp, you old son of a bitch, and you did smack him around because he was the best earner you had. He was your meal ticket. Had to keep the bitch in line, right? It’s not like Tito is going to fill those shoes. Right Joe?
Then we have the paternity issues of his children. O.K. people, I get we are all mesmerized by MJ’s talent and all that but seriously? The kids are white! Michael, before the chemical accident that took his pigmentation, kind of like The Joker without the smile, was a black guy. If you have any doubt, look at his parents and siblings. So this is news now.
Listen everybody, this shit is just going to get weirder before it goes away. There will be memorializing, discoveries, disclosures, freaky shit that will blow your mind and ultimately people will come forward to talk about his preferences, penchants and proclivities that will make most of us paler than he ever was.