WTF of the Week: Jabba or K-Fed
Who would you rather? Jabba the Hut or Kevin ‘I used to be a back up dancer and now it looks like I just ate one’ Federline?
One of them is a ruthless Mafia head that would kill his own mother if she owed him money. Sure he’s gross looking and probably wouldn’t be able to have a meaningful conversation with you but did you see how he could lick his own eyebrows?
The other doesn’t even have a GED, was a back up dancer, has a failed rapping career but can make many babies and knows how to drive a bitch crazy?
Well, well, well, Kevin Federline. Look what Karma has done to you? You screwed over (and under) Shar Jackson (or as you know her ‘First Baby Mama’ or ‘Darker baby Mama’ or ‘Sane Baby Mama’) and left her with 2 kids to pursue your meal ticket and x-wife Britney Spears. In record time you married her and impregnated her not once but twice. The smarter man would have just given her twins but you had her give birth barely one year after the first baby was born. After that, the plan was to gas light the pop star until she flashed her twat, shaved her head and lost her mind. Of course you got the kids! Mommy was busy eating play doh and had no time to care for kids.
So, after taking millions from Britney, you are now officially a Fat Fuck! You can officially apply for social security as disabled due to obesity. You have a crane on standby to heft your ass over to the couch where you can drink your Colt 45s and smoke Newports. We understand that you took your role as both mother and father seriously but did you have to grow the Moobs (Man boobs) to prove a point? Then to twist the knife, you go on tour with your x-wife to watch the kids (along with several nannies so the kiddies not cramp your style). You’re paid thousands extra a month. Did you even ask if you could contribute to dancing in her show? Couldn’t they have used an Elephant for the ‘Circus’ tour?
The only other alternative is you’re waiting for VH1 to offer you a reality show. You know ‘Kevin Federline: K-Fed nothing but Carbs’ or ‘From Irrelevant to Immense’ or ‘K-Fed’s got Back!’ or, our favorite ‘From Player to Planetoid’.
Karma is a bitch, K-Fed, and her name is Twinkie!!!