WTF of the Week: Daylight Savings Time

Fuck Arizona, except for our Arizona readers whom we love.

          We would like to start out this week’s WTF by saying Happy Birthday to Georgie, Lee’s little brother. Yes he was born on Halloween. Yes, he is a grown man with kids of his own and we call him Georgie. What? Do you have a problem with that? Happy Birthday, Georgie!  


          So back to the WTF! This week we are also sort of celebrating the end of Daylight Savings Time. So tonight when you hit the sheets, be sure to turn back your clocks 1 hour. Of course, if you are us, then you need to take an additional hour and explain to your kids why you do this. So why do we do it? Why do some states abstain? Why do some places only fall back a half hour? Who the fuck thought this up and can we string him up? 


          So, if you’re sitting there all smug thinking you know why they have daylight savings we are about to blow your mind. Who thought this up? Over a hundred years ago, some bug dude in New Zealand who worked at a 7/11, wanted to get home with enough light left to play with worms. Yeah, ewww. Then we thought, why the hell not? We need more sun in our days. We were taught that it was for farmers but the truth is that it helps retailers, sports and voter turnout. Not so smug now, huh? 


          Favorite thing about Daylight Savings is that Arizona and Hawaii don’t do it. Yeah, they refuse to, except for the Navajo Nation, which is in Arizona, that does do it. The Hopi Nation which resides within the Navajo Reservation, does not. The reasoning some give for Arizona and Hawaii opting out of playing nice with everyone is because it’s so fucking hot there. Really? Because it’s hot? 


          Well let us tell you something, Arizona and Hawaii and  the Hopi Nation, it’s fucking hot in Miami too. So here at CoupleDumb, we are creating the Flipped Day Schedule. That’s right! During the winter we are on normal time then in the Spring and Summer we will do Flipped Day Schedule. During FDS, the day time will be called night and vice versa.  We may be able to get away with never leaving the house during the day! We expect everyone to respect that just like we respect little Rebellious, Oppositional Defiant Arizona and Hawaii. That’s right! We’re calling you out Arizona (not Hawaii because it’s so far away and probably has major abandonment issues with the rest of the states).  


          Arizona just wants to be fucking different and staying off DST is just another way. Isn’t it enough that your citizens can burst into flames on any given day? Doesn’t having a geological wonder in your backyard thus producing so much travel tax dollars that you guys swim in tourists, enough? Look at the Dust Bowl states! Those fuckers got totally jipped! They got nothing! But you know what? They play well with others unlike you guys. So man up, Arizona, and get with the fucking program. Look to the Navajo for an example of how to be socially appropriate. We know you’re hot but that’s no excuse for being difficult. 


          Oh yeah, be sure to turn back your clocks tonight unless you’re Arizona (who can go fuck themselves).

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