Who To F^^k

THE Relationship Blog


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For some people, dating is a mystery, slathered in an enigma, kidnapped by confusion and fed by paranoia. We start as adolescents on this journey of landing a mate with as many tools for the hunt as they would give a prepubescent boy on the Serengeti. We are told that our weapon is sex and we are not even required to get a license to use it. We are told to go by instinct but our gut feelings are muddled with so many contradictory and pithy clichés that we don’t know whether to wind our butt or scratch our watch. This week, CoupleDumb is going to give you the Who, When and Why to sex and dating. Maybe, by the end of the week, you can have a better target for the hunt.

What makes one date worthy of sex and another unworthy of your goodies?

One problem with growing up is that we are taught to disregard how we feel. We are taught that it’s not OK to cry when we are sad and laugh when we get the giggles or be frightened by the dark. This creates a disconnect from your feelings and intuition and your brain. Your brain depends on that piece of data to make sound decisions. What we are left with is an incomplete decision making process. The problem is that the brain only analyzes the surface information. The brain is not where our intuition resides. When we cut off our gut we have cut out subconscious receptors that measure energy, vibes and all that hippy stuff that society tries to kill in us.

This is why you say things like ‘he seemed like such a nice guy’ while your friend’s say he is a scum bag. Why can they see what you don’t? Since your friends are emotionally invested in you, this circumvents the disconnect process. The only time that emotions are allowed in society is when we are showing loyalty. That is valued in our culture, whereas, self preservation and doing the same for ourselves is seen as selfishness.

Who to fuck?

One thing that we are good at is operating from the id. The id is the impulsive nature of a person. The id does not see reason, here intuition or care what others will say. The id is bold, impetuous and slightly animalistic. Many times we operate from the id when considering a sex partner. ‘She’s hot!’ ‘He’s so cute!’ is enough to have you drop your pants. Gone is the need to think of the future and what is important is the impending orgasm. This is why these sexual experiences are ultimately empty. The id didn’t care if you were emotionally invested or damaged by the act. The result of being impulsive is just that, hurt. This decision process lacked your brain and self-preservation.

Here is the rule to follow when it comes to choosing a sex partner. Ask yourself the three following questions:

1. Am I doing this for me?

2. How will this affect me tomorrow, 6 months from now?

3. Is this potential partner nice to you?

Answer these questions each time you have sex with someone that you are not committed to. You will find that you may have less sex. However, we can guarantee you that you will feel better about yourself.

2 comments

  • Well Said! Add to this, where you meet, what you’ve drank, and who you are with (friends) and it even makes it more complicated. Decisions decisions decisions…

  • bob hafner reyes

    What subjective marker(value) do we have operating in our cognitive reasoning? Compassion,tenderness,affection,honesty,trust,ect… These markers can over ride “impulsive sex drive” what do u say, Paul?

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