Top 5 reasons Dogs are better than Cats

See, the dog looks cute and the cat looks hungry!

          We know we’ll get in trouble for this one. There are people in this world, we know it is hard to believe, that actually like cats. Since we are allergic to them and know they are the foot soldiers of Satan, we tend to steer clear of the furry beasties. But in case there is any doubt out there, we decided to compile this list to straighten out any misconceptions about cats versus the wonderful dog.


          5. Dogs are like furry angels.


          Dogs have been known to save people without even being asked. Cats have been known to cut out if shits about to go down. It is a well-documented fact that no cats were killed during the Hiroshima and Nagasaki attacks. It is also a well-known fact that no cat has ever dragged their master out of their home unless they were trying to have the house to themselves. Our dogs go crazy when we come home. They greet us as if we just came home from the war. We are sure they spend most of their time alone pining for us.


          4. Cats are witches.


          The test is really simple. Throw a cat into water. The sounds that they make are not of this earth and quite definitely demonic.


          3. Dogs will eat anything.


          Whereas a cat can starve themselves due to their finickiness, a dog will eat Legos if push comes to shove. It is simple survival. A cat will do anything to make you feel inadequate and a dog is only interested in spending every moment with you. Thus, a tasty lunch of plastic with a side of stuffed animal is a perfect doggy meal.


          2. Cats have a secret agenda.


          It is a well-known fact that cats have never been trusted by society. This reputation is well deserved. This lack of confidence is due to secret investigations that have been quashed by the government, which has been infiltrated by cat lovers. In fact, we know that the Tea Baggers themselves are actually run by an oligarchy of cats who were reared in the sewers of Missouri.


          1. You can own many dogs without being given a nickname.


          We have some friends who have several dogs and one large cat. The cat, and we use the term loosely, is really a weird looking dog. These wonderful people are seen as pet lovers and good people. However, if they owned cats instead, they would be known as the crazy cat couple. Dogs give you the semblance that you are part of society and are willing to enjoy the company of your fellow man at any given time. Cats give you the air that you are about to put foil inside your windows and are willing to let the smell of the litter box be the odor du jour of your home. Dogs make you social whereas cats whisper in your ear at night that everyone laughs at you behind your back.

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