The Secret to Winning

 Which one is prettier? Does it matter?

          What are you doing this weekend? Would it really mess you up to know that we are probably going to handle all of our Christmas shopping? Would it make you click on the Amazon link right next to this post just to see if you can pick up a few things for your kids or siblings? Well then click away because we are doing our shopping this early. We always do. Is this a competition thing, let’s see who finishes first, or could it possibly be challenging ourselves to be organized. Could it be that the healthiest form of competition is competing with yourself?


          Lee says: I was having trouble coming up with a point of view for this post when my parents came over for a visit. Within a couple of minutes, they showed there true colors and were actively competing for my affection and the title of parent of the day. The argument went something like this: (Translated from Spanish and insults were omitted)


          Dad: I called you and you didn’t answer your phone.


          Mom: I call her every day. She was probably shocked that you would call.


          Dad: She knows that my calls are special and always answer my calls. When she sees it’s you on the phone she lets it go to voicemail.


          Mom: Oh, like she did with you?


          Yeah, those are my parents. I know they love me. They would do anything for me but, good God in heaven, do they annoy me.


          After receiving comments about competition, I felt that I should explain myself a little more. Competition is not bad at all. It is how we do it that is dysfunctional. Because of our socialization, all competition is seen as an external activity. A foe, enemy, opponent must be taken down. This is what is ultimately unhealthy. Them against us. We make the people in our life take sides to show their loyalty; our side versus their side. Patriotism, jingoism and partisanship are just hotbeds that breed division. We think we can actually unite when everything is created within a chasm.


          Someone actually wrote that she was surprised that I felt this way about competition. To her I say, I have evolved. The only competition I have now is me against me. I see what I have done and I try to make it better. If I don’t, the previous record stands. Either way, I win. I don’t feel like a loser since the benchmarks to which I aspire were set by me. If this sounds a little narcissistic ,it’s not. I don’t compare myself to others since that would be competing. People have different abilities and gifts. To compare yourself to someone else is unfair to yourself. Do I create outrageous goals for myself and make it impossible to ever complete them? No. I set the bar. I decide how high it goes and how hard to push.


          Now don’t get the idea that this is some wussy way to get out of working hard. I have found that I work harder when I use my own accomplishments as inspiration. I don’t need to get in the end zone and do a mocking victory dance and taunt my opponents to make my win any better. I take a moment and then create the new goal. Sure it sounds exhausting but I think I had mentioned that I have a work addiction issue I am still working out. 


          Paul says: Since I am the numbers guy for CoupleDumb, I am constantly looking at our site statistics and comparing them to other sites. By definition, this is competition but that is not what we are talking about. This week has not been a manifesto in favor of socialism. What we are rallying against is the win/lose scenario. People seem to deal with their lives as if they were world class athletes. I don’t know about you but my lazy ass is not sprinting anywhere in under ten seconds and no one is measuring my gentle stroll to get my fifth cup of coffee. In my version of real life, I have no scenarios where someone needs to lose for me to win.


          Currently we are the 80,461st website in the nation. This is amazingly good and we are very proud of our accomplishment but does that mean that I needed to destroy number 80,462? No. Frankly, I do not care and neither does number 80,462. The competition is negligible in the great scheme of things.


          That being said, I do have my eye on the number one spot. Anybody have an idea how I can topple Google?

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