A persecutor is a person who abuses another. A persecutor can use violence, emotional terrorism, isolation, withholding of affection, money or attention and guilt to get what they want. The persecutor believes they are the victim.
We all know people like this. They are explosive. They spend most of their time in some state of anger over how they are being screwed and how no one helps or understands or gives back. They are sick and tired of doing everything, telling you what to do and generally having the world on their back.
Most of us know a persecutor. Some of us have ranted to the point of scaring someone. Some of us have been on the receiving end of a husband, wife, boss, parent or friend who is at the end of their rope, upset, pissed, angry, disappointed in you or life in general. They are the assholes, the drunks, the jerks, the bitches and the party poopers who feel put upon by the universe.
Persecutors are victims in disguise. When they are ranting, they are only doing it because someone made them do it. When they are viciously attacking someone, there justification usually is to point out the behaviors of others. ‘She made me hit her!’ ‘If you didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have said that.’ ‘I have to do this because people are trying to take away my rights.’ People respond to these things by either siding with the victim or the persecutor.
How does a persecutor stop persecuting? Being responsible.
That’s it! A persecutor is a victim who has decided to be vocal. Responsibility is the kryptonite of a bully. No one makes you hurt them. When you understand this, you cannot behave in that manner again.
Tomorrow: The so-called “good guys” – Rescuers!