Celebrity Smackdown: The porn industry

We have been talking about sex this week and nothing can substitute for good sex like a good rant. And this week’s smackdown we are going big. What did you ask? Going after the Pope wasn’t big enough? No. Unfortunately, our subject for this week’s Celebrity Smackdown is bigger than the pontiff and Disney combined. They are constantly pushing people to raise the bar and more is better. That’s right, we are going after the porn industry and God help us if that tape we made 19 years ago ever gets leaked.

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Sexy Time

Happy Monday everybody! This is a fantastic week and we are already excited. We’ve got so much going on. Aside from writing for our blog 6 days a week, we also have the launch of our first book, ‘Dysaffirmations: Because this kind of stupid takes work!’ The book is a collection of some of our dysaffirmations and includes a Misery Worksheet. We are also awaiting the results of the Mother of all Bloggers contest for which Lee was nominated. And we are holding a contest for subscriptions (Facebook group, Twitter, etc). The person with the most referrals gets a signed book! The winner will be announced on our first radio show on May 7th, National Mom’s Nite Out! With so much to do, who has time for sex?

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The Pee-Pee slapping dance and other cool tricks.

If you do not know what the pee-pee slapping dance is, then let me enlighten you. The male of the relationship steps out either fully naked or, at a minimum, nude from the waist down. With a rapid oscillation of his pelvis, he sets his genitalia into motion, making a slap as his penis whips to the left, then right, then left again. He does this for several seconds, ending in a Ta-da, before padding away to wherever he was, fulfilled at a job well done. The impact is best if the audience, or shall we call her the victim, is in some innocuous space like the kitchen or laundry room.

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Slap and tickle or what’s love got to do with it.

Good Monday Everybody! We would like to thank you for all your support. We hope you had a love filled weekend and that your Valentine’s Day was just covered in chocolate. Paul and I spent the weekend in a seminar where we worked on our individual issues. I know, it sounds so incredibly romantic. We didn’t even get to sleep together! I told you we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s.

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I’ll Choose Love for a 200 Alex

Last week’s post on Thursday regarding relationships like corporations wasn’t very romantic. But let’s face it, society has built up love and couplings to be this biochemical explosion that can only be understood with a periodic table and a Bunsen burner. People talk about “having chemistry” with someone else as if that is the litmus test for all attraction. If they aren’t using scientific terms for pairing up with someone, then it becomes some magical mumbo jumbo of how a person saw fireworks or heard the perfect sonata when “the one” kissed them.

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Your side of the bed or mine

After 20 years of marriage, I can safely say Paul and I are very intimate. Most people will confuse intimacy and sex which is why we have such a high divorce rate and some people date like serial killers on a spree. Intimacy is the sharing of vulnerability. It is creating a level of honesty that only you two share. Now I know that many of you are saying, “Lee, WTF! Vulnerability, honesty, serial killers? This shit isn’t funny and it makes me feel weird in my stomach!” Relax people! Paul and I are committed to sharing our pearls of wisdom of how this relationship has worked and it will only pinch a little bit.

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