On Why I won’t read ’50 Shades of Grey’

If you read CoupleDumb or if you simply look at previous posts, you know that I am no shrinking violet. I am the one who will ‘go there’, stay there and sometimes make camp in the provocative. If you have watched ‘Relationship Rehab’, you know that I do not shy from sex talk and I am quite vocal about being sexy and remembering that we are sexual beings. Also, if you have read about addiction on our site, you will recall that I have admitted to being a sex addict and my drug of choice was porn. I say all of this to preface why my main point here and it is that I WILL NOT BE READING ’50 shades of Grey’.

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Time For Sex

Time has a way of messing with us. We are either bored, with too much time on our hands, or we are overwhelmed because we just don’t have enough time. Few people have a good relationship with time. They can manage their time well and always seem to have enough. While most of us are either running out of time and overwhelmed with the multitude of tasks that present themselves and we just can’t say no to another assignment or meeting and oh crap the teacher asked for a baked good tomorrow morning and when do I get to sleep and the sad answer is ‘when you die’. We understand life can be complicated. We also understand that time is an illusion and that we have become a slave to the clock. As we finish up our Tired Parent series we want to address the concept of ‘not enough time’.

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Revisiting Sex Addiction

Sex is a release. Drinking disinhibits and relaxes us. Drugs make us feel euphoric. Getting a deal makes us feel exuberant and accomplished. Anything that makes you feel good can be abused and you can develop a dependency. This is the basis of Addiction. If you like it then you can overdo it. Anyone who has eaten ice cream, lobster thermidor, chocolate or even a delicious pizza from your favorite purveyor knows we can easily overdo it when we enjoy what we are doing. CoupleDumb has discussed addiction a million times and we can think of no better way to end up our Tired Parent series than to remind our readers of the icky side of over doing it.

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5 Things We Get Wrong About Sex

‘Don’t Assume…because it makes an ass out of u and me’ is never more true than when you are having sex. Many of us assume that we know what we are doing or become comfortable with a partner over the years. However, people change. People change so much that what once was a sure-fire way of getting someone to orgasm may become passé or even uncomfortable. Our likes change. Our biology changes. We make more mistakes than you can imagine and here are some of the good ones (as in really bad mistakes):

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More On The Female Orgasm

Certain subjects make us uncomfortable. Some people don’t like discussing their finances. Some people don’t like discussing childhood trauma. But most people are tight lipped about discussing their own sexual experiences. Don’t get us wrong, these same individuals will talk about sex in the abstract and will participate in lurid conversations but they do not share the most important tidbits about their sex life. Women are especially guilty of this. Funny how most women will have conversations about sex and yet 43% of us report not being able to regularly reach orgasm and yet the discussions are not prescriptive or supportive.

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The Female Orgasm

The Unicorn. The Yeti. The Female Orgasm. Three of the most elusive things that have been thought myth but some people swear by them. The Female Orgasm is considered useless because it serves no purpose in the sexual act. While a man’s orgasm is the delivery system for one of the ingredients in creating life, the female orgasm does not help or hinder baby making. In fact, Female Sexual Dysfunction is so common that many scientists believe that it isn’t a dysfunction at all! Perhaps we aren’t meant to enjoy sex like men. Perhaps we are just there as a receptacle and hopeful carrier of the male seed to produce more males who will continue this cycle. And perhaps the scientists are thinking about the orgasm completely wrong.

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The New Sex Education

Sex Education is many things but thorough is not one of them. Sex Education is taught primarily in most public schools in grades 4/5, 7/8 and high school. The curriculum varies throughout the US but focuses on certain topics involving sexuality specifically gender roles, relationships, avoiding pregnancy and STDs. The only mention of orgasm is when discussing ejaculation and the possible pregnancy that may ensue. Sex Education never

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The Male Sexual Response

Being tired is not new to men. Back in the 50’s, a man was responsible for bringing home the bacon and all household concerns were the wife’s job. Today, a man is still expected to work but also contribute equally to the rearing of his children. A man is being held responsible for parenting and the men who take this on are tired. The absentee Dad of the past is no longer tolerated in most circles. Today’s Dad needs to work, succeed, coach soccer/little league, attend recitals and fix booboos all while chasing his wife around and being the sexual aggressor in the marriage. Anything less and he is a disappointment.

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