Parents Think Too Much.

Have you heard the joke about the small boy who asks his dad, ‘Where do I come from’? The dad sighs and launches into the infamous birds and bees conversation, even pulling out the old National Geographic’s Reproduction and Birth book. When dad is finished, the child looks at him, both puzzled and aghast, and says ‘OK. But Tommy is from Miami and Suzie is from New York. Where do I come from?’

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Kids and why you can’t kill them.

We’re talking therapy this week and nothing makes a person seek out therapy like children. Having a child tests everything you hold as dear. Kids are not easy but like all things that test you, the reward is great. So today we finally explain why Tuesdays are titled ‘Kids and why you can’t kill them’. The obvious reason is that murder is illegal but there are so many other reasons to keep those little buggers alive.

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Love, children and more coffee, please.

Last night, at 2:38am, I was watching Ricky trying to fall asleep. He was in our bed and doing whatever he could to stay awake. I watched as his eyes would slowly close and he would quickly open them in an effort to keep his parents awake. Paul and I have a strict rule of no children in our bedroom but, at 2:38am on a Monday morning, rules are less mandates and mere suggestions. At one point, he reached over and took hold of my arm which made his resolve falter and he drifted off. All the while that I watched his little face, I could see Paul falling asleep next to him.

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Product nuisance

As we sit here trying to write while our 2 year old screeches ‘Mine, mine, mine!!!’ over and over again, it’s harder than you can imagine writing about kids and parenting without having thoughts of abuse or cardboard boxes with small air-holes. Lately, the job of daily writing has been doubly hard due to the added nuisance of having 2 young boys wedged firmly up our asses at all times. And, since they were both recently ill, their sleep schedules are all messed up so we can’t even be assuaged by the promise of peace at a certain time of the day. In a corporation, what are the principles to do when your products are interfering with the healthy functioning of the entity?

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Do demon spawns like fruit cups?

Tuesdays are reserved for kids. Specifically, we reserve it for our issues that we have with our kids. As our kids grow and mature, things come up. We work hard to keep ourselves in check and not let our neuroses affect our kids or mold them to be mini me’s of us. However, one thing that is our priority is maintaining the safety of our little ones. So, as we purge the experience that we had at the church, we must address our children or more specifically, Bobby.

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My kids speak english good

We often joke with people that we left our kids duct taped to the wall with a box of saltines on those rare occasions that we are seen out without them. People laugh and then get very serious when they figure that that would not be so farfetched. We know as parents, those crazy thoughts enter our heads and yet, love and guilt win out. We stay home, get a second on the house for a baby sitter or suck up to grandma one more time for a few hours of peace.

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Lie to Me (and feel my wrath)

Have you seen the new Fox show ‘Lie to me’? We have watched a couple of episodes and we are HOOKED! They have O.K. stories but they pepper the hour with cool body language science and examples of modern day political leaders. But you don’t care what we watch on Wednesday nights. You want to know how this has anything to do with children and parenting. We think it’s obvious. So make eye contact and do not squint at us.

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you always manipulate the ones you love

Our littlest is just 2 years old. Recently, his language has exploded and he is communicating his needs. He says really adorable things like “bless you Mami” when I cough or “shoes on” when he wants to leave. I didn’t say he was bright, I said he was adorable. One of these incredi-cute things he is doing is requesting something that he has previously been denied with a final “Pllllllllleeeeezzzzzzzzeeee” and his hands pressed together in prayer. He has even perfected the doe eyes that are required for that kind of begging. It is hard to deny him but we do and then hug him for learning how to work his parents like a job.

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Early Education

Being that we have been happily, romantically married 20 years, we set up this site touting ourselves as gurus of the marriage and family realm. OK, maybe not gurus. Better said, we are paladins, fanatically hacking and slashing away at society’s sick and broken concepts of relationship all the while leaving behind a wake of broken and bloodied carnage. We […]

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