I do…mostly.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have spent a week talking about the state of marriage. As we wind up the week, we can safely say that marriage is in trouble in general. We have two mentalities tearing down the simple act of two individuals committing to one another. Whether it’s the religious hypocrites co-opting the concept of marriage or individuals who feel that marriage is like a tissue, if you blow it, throw it away. Either camp treats a marriage with either false sacredness or disregards the importance all together. However, maybe these two groups are not that far apart after-all.

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The State of Marriage

This week is interesting since around midweek Lee’s in-laws will be visiting. They are scheduled to be in town for about a week. Although there is no tensions between Lee and her in-laws, we think it should be obvious who of us is a little more freaked about the visit. However, we need to focus because the topic of this week is the state of marriage and that deserves all of our attention. So Mom and Dad-in-law need to take a knee while we share our thoughts and insights on WTF is up with marriage.

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Relationship, Competition and Marriage

Relationship, competition and another exciting Thursday that make us want to break out in song. From the musical, Cabaret, our theme song for today is Maybe This Time. Well, really it is just one part sung over and over; ‘everybody loves a winner. So nobody loved me’. So warm up your vocal cords and sing out loud our relationship anthem here on your CoupleDumb. (Please read the above introduction with Ryan Seacrest’s voice and maybe add some flashing lights at the end. Thank you.)

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It’s not sex. It’s a merger.

If you are looking for romance, this is not the article to read. This is the practical ‘if you want a relationship then stop doing dumb shit’ type of commentary. This is also one of our little secrets that have kept us married for twenty years. Ready? Here it is. Marriage is like a corporation. I told you. No rose petals on this one. Corporations are structured for one purpose and one purpose only. That is to advance the corporation. The shareholders of the corporation – these are the stockholders, the employees and anyone else that gains benefit from the business – only succeed if the corporation succeeds. The perfect company has rich stockholders, happy and well paid employees, and everyone is working with the singular goal of expanding this little utopia ad infinitum. Kind of like the Borg.

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Shadow Boxing

We can’t be a relationship site doing two whole weeks on the topic of therapy and not talk about couples counseling. Obviously we strongly believe in its significance and, if you have made it into the door of the therapist, you have made a strong declarative statement that you value your relationship. We have done a lot of work on our marriage but, the funny thing is, we never done it as a couple.

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I am not worthy.

There was a guy one night on a dark deserted road that got a flat tire and realized he had no jack. In the distance he saw a light and thought to himself, ‘Maybe it’s a house’. He started walking towards the light and as he got closer he realized he was correct and thought, ‘Maybe they have a jack’. As he approached the yard he saw that there were several cars parked in front and thought, ‘One of these cars must have a jack.’ As he walked up the walkway he thought, ‘What if these guys are a bunch of dicks and won’t let me borrow it?’ As he knocked on the door he became angry at the thought. By the time the door opened he was fuming and said ‘Shove your jack up your ass’.

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