Top 5 Things We Do To Mess Up Relationships

CoupleDumb was founded on a certain premise; people do some really stupid things to mess up their relationships. We don’t know better. We have the examples of our parents and their parents who fought openly or were stoic and cold. We had the example of the media with families that exemplified perfection and those whose dysfunction made even serial killers wince. Even after 3 years of writing CoupleDumb, we still see flagrant examples of dumb stuff you do to screw up relationships. Here are our top 5:

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Secrets To A Happy Marriage, Number 3

We know. We know that you are waiting with bated breath for our secrets. Patience, we will get to our secret in a moment. But first, how are you handling the other two? How’s that ‘not fighting’ coming along? Did you hold it together when he didn’t wash the dishes or did you lose it when she took the towels out of the bathroom to wash and left you naked, wet and freezing, tip toeing through the house to the linen closet? Sure, those are stupid reasons to fight but can you really come up with a real important one that is more important than your commitment? Can you honestly say that not calling you when he will be home late or that she went over budget is a good cause for an MMA blow out? These are all issues of boundaries that can only be established with conscious, effective communication, not screaming.

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Secrets To A Happy Marriage, Number 1

Saturday we celebrated our 23 year anniversary. 23 years. 23 happy years. We point that out since we have met many couples who have been married longer than us and they look like they should be on anti-depressants and perhaps some ECT (electric shock treatment for those who whistle happy tunes everyday). Being married a long time is not an accomplishment if you are miserable. It’s a prison, wrapped in a straight jacket and rolled in glass; pain is not an accomplishment.

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Grow Up Together

Let’s take a time out here and get really serious. We know that most of the people who read our site are in a relationship. We know that most of our readers are in committed, monogamous relationships. So we decided to write about a topic that is relevant to a long-term relationship. We don’t think about it and we assume it happens naturally. We assume that the transition between newlyweds and settled and old married couple is something that happens without anyone noticing. Well it doesn’t. A marriage evolves and, like Homo habilis who thought it a good idea to use a rock instead of his bare hands, sometimes newer is much better.

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Marriage is not hard work

Marriage is not that hard. Marriage, in fact, can be very easy. However, it seems that those with mediocre and failed marriages get most of the press and apparently their misinformation is more acceptable than the experiences of people with happy, healthy marriages. We continue to listen to so-called experts who claim to fame is failed relationships, mistakes, infidelity and a book deal. This is so discomforting when you see real couples seeking real help. Would you go to a mechanic who’s car does not run?

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I do. Do you?

Welcome to a new week! These last few weeks have been tough with kids going back to school, the traffic that comes from kids returning to the daily grind and just getting used to summer being over. We know that all the changes in our household have created some intense anxiety in all of us. One kid starting her senior year and filling out college applications, one kid starting ‘real school’ or first grade and the youngest starting school for the first time. We’ve been dealing with the jitters for a few weeks now and we think we know a thing or two about cold-feet in this household.

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A Wedding Guide By CoupleDumb

With a divorce rate of 50 percent for first marriages and 70% for second marriages, we have steadily seen the age of first marriages slowly rise while marriages are declining throughout the world. Much is said about the young bride. All the 20 something women go to their local bookstore or newsstands and stock up on the wedding necessities before they embark on the roller coaster of a nightmare called The Wedding Day.

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