This week we have covered what Marriage is and isn’t. Today, we are going to the dark side. Today we are taking bets and making odds. We are channeling Jimmy the Greek and a bit of Paul’s sordid past and telling you how we predict the failure of marriages. We know, this isn’t the usual uplifting fare we provide but you can also see this as things you should avoid. Or better still, if the odds are stacked up against you, cut your losses.
1. If a couple bickers in public
When we see a couple bicker in public, we can just imagine what they do at home. Yes, sometimes things can spill over if you have not resolved an issue. However, public bickering shows another ugly part of your marriage: you don’t have good boundaries. If you are arguing and need to go somewhere, a couple with good boundaries that maintain that their marriage is their priority will cancel their evening and talk it out. If you are not willing to show up to a party wearing only a scarf with all your bits out for display then, why is it OK for you to argue or bicker with your partner in public?
2. If a couple complains about their partner when the partner is not around
When you talk about your spouse to other people, you are sending a message. If you share your issues with someone who is understanding and has good boundaries as a means to receive some good advice then this is healthy. If you are bitching about your husband/wife to someone else so that they can say nasty things about them too, you are breaking the boundaries of your marriage. It is a betrayal and an affront to your union. If you have a problem with your partner, discuss it. If you need outside help, get it from a professional. Complaining about your partner is an ugly habit that many couples get into and needs to stop. What would they say if they could hear what you said? What would you say if you could hear them?
3. If a couple stops having sex
You knew we would go there and here we are. Sex is not everything but it is important. Not having sex because you are unable to due of an illness or condition is one thing. Choosing not to have sex is quite another. If you stopped having sex, why? If you don’t care, why? If you only have sex on special occasions and the occasional bank holiday, is that enough? If you are resigned to shutting down that part of you, when did you start thinking that happiness and fun were a luxury? Sex is great. Let’s put it this way, if your spouse told you could never read or eat chocolate or eat bacon or watch a movie again, would you be O.K. with that?
4. If a couple does not do anything together
We know this one is a little unfair because we do almost everything together. We work together. We play together. We are each other’s favorite people. We see this as a cool perk of being married! However, if you are married and your only activity together is the occasional boink and meal, why is that?
So, if you do the things we mentioned here, calculate your odds. Any one of these things can ruin a marriage. We hate being right but the odds are on our side.