Smackdown for Jenny

 We've located the source of the heavy metals.

It’s Mother’s week on CoupleDumb! With all the hubbub surrounding Lee being chosen as a finalist for Mom Logic’s Mother of all Bloggers contest (VOTE NOW!) and our radio show on Thursday for Mom’s Nite Out, who has time to write and rant? Unfortunately for the children of the world, there are still Moms who deserve the smackdown and we would be shirking our responsibility to our public if we didn’t say it like it was. So, today’s Celebrity Smackdown is for a mom who we feel is not only doing a disservice to her child but to all our kids. As parents of a child diagnosed with a Spectrum Disorder (Autism and its friends), we understand how devastating it is to know that your child will not be able to function like other kids. So please take a peak at our open letter to Jenny McCarthy.

Dear Jenny,

          We get it. You had an idea that your son was going to be perfect and have the same opportunities as other kids. For some reason, God chose him to live differently. We get it. We have lived with our daughter for 16 years and still deal with the differentness. However, we don’t waste our energy blaming.

          Instead of dealing with the grief from losing the dream of the perfect child and accepting the gift you did have, you have funneled all your energy into battling vaccines. You have made it your mission to uncover the conspiracy of how the government wanted to make all our kids different. You are convinced the government knew that they were damaging our kids and making them all autistic was just the tip of the iceberg. I am sure the next plan was to install computer chips in their brain to make them the perfect weapon, however, thanks to you, that plan was thwarted.

          Your campaign has no scientific findings and only uses anecdotal evidence with a smattering of some correlations some doctors who graduated from med school in Guiana came up with. Whereas the real scientists have proven over and over that vaccines do not cause autism, that thiomersal, or ethylmercury, only stays in the body for a few days and does not cause heavy metal poisoning and that your theories are stupid, ill-informed and devastatingly dangerous. Now you have people seeking Chelation Therapy for their kids with Autism!

          Listen Jenny, we get it, you want to do something. Autism is so difficult to deal with. However, now we have all the affluent people opting out of vaccinating their kids. In the old days, it was the poor who were afflicted with viruses like measles, mumps, polio and rubella. Thanks to you, Buffy and Skippy will be laid up and may even die from illnesses we have had under control in this country for decades! In Los Angeles County alone there have been over 70 cases of measles reported and those numbers are getting larger every day. People are worried about the Swine Flu when they should be worried about bubble headed people with too much money not vaccinating their kids because they think they know better than everyone else.

          Jenny, we are the cattle that go ahead and follow the vaccination schedule the CDC spelled out for us. Our kids get their shots and lollipops as predetermined by the big bad government. Does that make us stupid? Does that make us bad parents? Your cause would say ‘Yes’ to that. However, speaking for the rest of the parents out their who actually listen with an open mind and have a simple understanding of scientific method, the bad parents and horrible citizens of our country are the parents who don’t vaccinate their kids. It will take only one dead baby from Rubella to shut your whiny, spoiled mouths. Go deal with your kids and provide them with scientifically based interventions. Maybe if you do that you will be blessed like us. Our Spectrum Disordered kid is taking honors courses, competing in state academic competitions and has a great sense of humor. But we will concede that yours knows how to protest and has no heavy metals in their system. We’ll stick to our methods and keep shooting up our kids.

 

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