Sex, Food And Other Resources
The economy is in the toilet, the moral compass of the nations is spinning like a gyroscope, Lindsay Lohan is normal for Hollywood, the sky is falling, the sky is falling. What are we to do?
Paul says: In the morning, I put on Krishna Das chanting as I drive the boys to school. I do not do this for them. This is for me. It helps me to focus my day and it drowns out the morning prattle of the boys. I have a very low threshold for conversations that have the words ‘and then’ multiple times in one sentence, especially if it happens before my second cup of coffee. Happily, they seem to enjoy the time also. As a matter of fact, the 3 year old likes it so much that he has a specific chant that he likes after which he requests ‘We will rock you’ by Queen. What a bad ass, rocking way to start your day!
When we talk about adversity, we are really talking dealing with it, not reveling in it. We want to take on adversity like Neo in the Matrix takes on bullets; a bend here, a twist there, and let them go by without so much as a scratch. The only way to combat adversity is to have the resources to do so. By resources, I am not talking about having cash-on-hand to deal with the situation because, as we all know, if you have the money to pay for the problem to go away then it really isn’t much of an adversity.
A resource in this context is a psychological resource, an insightful and positive attitude. Common resources are trust in God so that you know He will get you through it, some old-fashioned arrogance to know that life is your bitch, and a good meditative state where you can run away without actually needing to move your feet. When my little boy walks into his classroom in the morning knowing that he will rock them, what he is really doing is calling on his internal resources to combat the potential fear of the classroom.
Throughout our lifetimes, we create ways of coping with adversity, some healthy ways and some not. When we do not have the strong, healthy resources in place to help us move through the difficult times, this is when we resort to things like drinking, drugs, sex, food and the lot that sooth us in much the same way that meditation, prayer or exercise can. But I usually don’t stagger out of the gym, strip off my clothes and pass out in the Hostess aisle of 7-11.
The best time to develop healthy resources to buoy you against adversity is when you are not in crisis. When the great monkey of life is throwing poop balls in our direction, the best we can hope for is quick reflexes and a raincoat. None of us has time to reflect of our behaviors and reactions while diving for cover.
So when everything is good, sit down and look around your life. Catalogue the things, not the material ones but the emotional ones, that you can depend on to bring you hope. For me it is my loving wife that makes me laugh, my family that has pesky but cute down pat, a good morning chant, and some rocking Queen.
Lee says: Not that there is anything wrong with fucking and eating sandwich, it is only unhealthy if that is what you did every time you were in crisis. Any other time, A-OK!